The holiday weekend has been very satisfying. 

Independence day party turned into quite a hit. Everyone had plenty to eat and to drink, our pool was wonderfully refreshing, and the fireworks display was surprising. Everyone seemed to bring a box of fireworks, so we spent a good 90 minutes out front lighting them off with our neighbors. From the front yard we could also see the display from the local park, so that was a huge bonus. Our home is becoming the gathering place for our adult children to come, bring friends, hang out, and we love that. We rarely travel on the long weekends – we are always home on president’s day, memorial day, and labor day weekends – so perhaps into the future we will host future impromptu gatherings with friends. 

But first we must figure out a better solution to the toilet issue. Our master bedroom has a slider out to the backyard, but to get there from the pool is an 8 foot walk across wood laminate floors. Regular visitors to our home know this and are careful with dripping coming in to use the bathroom, but others … not so much. I did have rubber-backed runners lined up across the floor on Friday, but between my daughter and myself we were checking and wiping up water droplets from the floor. Going forward, I think we may either rent an outhouse or set up our own camping toilets somehow in addition to acquiring larger rugs for such occasions. It’s a strategy and research project for future weekend. 

After our adventures on the coast yesterday, we got home in the wee hours of the morning with heads full of our new favorite place and plans to return for a longer trip. While I have always been a beach lover, M is much more a mountain guy and forest guy. The parts of the northern California coast we like have both. Plus it’s significantly cooler than our 100+ valley heat. 

Today has been all about household chores. Laundry, grocery shopping, meal planning (or trying to, anyway), cleaning house. I confess we are terrible food-wasting, non-frugal people. We are definitely not the spendthrifts we once were, but we have a long way to go before I feel proud or even completely comfortable confessing my meal planning and cooking skills. My BFF is brilliant at stretching a dollar until it begs for mercy, bulk cooking, and making things work, but I confess to being terribly lazy about such things.

As I was floating in the heat and working on my tan (through SPF 55 sunscreen), I was contemplating what to do about my dreadful eating habits. Next week is going to be busy, with my admin on vacation and not back until a week from Tuesday, so I should be bringing my lunch. I even have stuff in the fridge and pantry to prepare it. My goal for the week is to eat breakfast at home and bring my lunch. Simple, right? I am up early to exercise, which I have been doing consistently, and now I just need to force myself to eat something before walking out the door. Nothing sounds good, or so I tell myself when I start thinking about it. But really, unless I’m eating a donut or my personal equivalent of Very Bad Food, nothing really tastes that great or sounds good, either. It’s a discipline thing, one I am far too lenient with myself about. I know I can do it; I just have to put my foot down. Same with lunch. I make a wonderful chicken salad at home and remembered to buy the multigrain bread I will eat if toasted. It’s a simple thing to put them both into containers and toss them into a lunch bag. Add a small salad … which I make the night before for dinner every day … and a piece of fruit and I’m good for lunch.

So why am I not doing it? Why am I eating junk food at least 4 days out of 5 if not the entire work week? *sigh* Again, it’s a discipline thing. M remarks periodically that he needs to drop some weight to be happy, and he has sort of backhandedly blamed me for his failure to do so. I don’t buy it, or at least I don’t buy it completely. I am not responsible for his choices, but I have (on occasion) enabled him in poorer food choices.

My husband does a lot to make me happy, including let me indulge in unhealthy habits. I am frequently divided on whether this is good or not, but I generally think it is probably healthier for our marriage. Controlling behavior is not good for any relationship, no matter how much we each might need someone to tell me no when I lack the willpower to do so. For us this has meant not bringing temptation home, so sweets, soda, chips, etc. are not routinely found in our pantry. We rarely even stock bread in the house. However, we do eat out more than we should, a downfall that comes with working as much as I do both at home and at the office. Our road trips are full of unhealthy snacks and fatty/junky/calorie-laden restaurant meals. We can do better.

So after this wonderfully satisfying weekend, it is time to get back to normal, healthier habits. 

Next week I am resolving to not eat out at all. Not for financial reasons, but for better health. We have everything we need to make nutritious meals and snacks. I have a busy week with full-time and part-time jobs, and I can make myself eat better, increase my exercise, and overall feel better. I hope, anyway.

I figure I have at least 18 months to work my way into a spectacular mother-of-the-bride dress, because my daughter tells me today that their goal is to buy a home sometime in fourth quarter 2015 and get married simply in 2016. I have no idea what “married simply” truly means, but I want to be ready. I surely do not want to be the frumpy MOTB showing up in a purple muumuu because I failed to develop some self-discipline now. My family believes I am exaggerating, but it’s a realistic fear. I have such an aversion to dieting that I can easily imagine my subconscious sabotaging me into breaking something and benching me from exercise.


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