I have an appointment with my endocrinologist today and am actually looking forward to it. My diabetes control remains imperfect and a work in progress, but there is significant improvement. There is still much work to do, but I am learning new things and tackling one aspect at a time. The past couple of weeks have been about discipline with eating, dramatically reducing the amount of carbs I am consuming as well as ruthlessly cutting out soda and sweets. I have allowed myself to sin with small quantities of dark chocolate, but I am observing its effect on my overall numbers. 

This week I am back to monitoring portion control, my genuine downfall. It is so easy and so very tempting to eat an entire deli sandwich and a piece of fruit for lunch and have my sugar still be at or near 200 when dinner rolls around (I am shooting for 150 or less 4 or 5 hours after the previous meal). Half a sandwich and a piece of fruit or small salad is really enough, even if my stomach growls and yowls and my head believes I am starving. After a few days everything settles down and the small portions are appropriate. 

Unfortunately I allow myself to become too complacent and eat larger portions or eat sugary snacks as a “reward” instead of staying the course and solidifying my new habits. It demolishes all my previous efforts and good behaviors. And it is far too easy for me to slip back into the less healthy patterns. Ultimately my goal is to take less medication. I have to learn more self-control with my eating habits to make this happen, and it will probably take several months to haul the numbers down.

I will conquer this, though. It may mean staying on expensive medications for the balance of my life, or I may be able to cut back or cut them out completely at some point into the future. But it does all start with diet and exercise, and until I master that basic foundation, I should just abandon hope of abandoning anything else. 


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