My name is Janelle, and I am a failure at boiling eggs

Seriously. If you could see me now my head is hanging in shame. I tried, and failed, again at the elusive art of boiling eggs. 

I read up on it on the internet. I took the advice of others the last time I posted about my epic failure. I was even tempted to search for a YouTube video on the topic (M’s go-to source for doing just about everything he is not sure he knows how to do), but that seemed excessive.

When I earlier I again had a messy gooey half-boiled egg on my hands, I decided to do the smart thing.

I bought two dozen already hard boiled eggs at Costco. At least they are organic eggs. At least they are already shelled. At least they are not mocking me in my hopelessness with egg boiling. 

Maybe I should have gone to YouTube. Maybe then I would not feel like such an idiot. But I’ll get over it. Tomorrow I can enjoy my spinach salad with my precooked boiled eggs and pretend I made them myself. No one asks if I cooked them myself, right? Everyone just assumes a middle aged woman can boil a f–king egg. 

It’s our little secret that I apparently cannot. 

12 thoughts on “My name is Janelle, and I am a failure at boiling eggs

  1. Don’t feel too badly, my father couldn’t boil water, let alone an egg in it to save his life. But then again, he was useless in the kitchen in every other way too. lolz

    I don’t get the problem here…..water in pan, bring to boil, put in egg, wait 10 minutes, turn off burner, drain water and refill with cool water, wait until not too hot to handle and peel.
    You must have a powerful mental block on this one but I am sure you can persevere….. 8-)))

  2. I doubt you will starve to death because you can’t boil eggs…but if they take away the chocolate they you and I might hurt someone
    Judy

  3. I do them exactly like Sluggy except for one thing–after draining off the hot water I shake the pan around so the shells crack, then put the COLD water on them and wait until they cool enough to handle. If they are ex large eggs, I would add another minute to the cooking time, but I usually just buy large eggs. They get cooked without the green rings around the yolks, and cracking them like I do makes them easier to peel.

    I’m 71, been cooking seriously since I was 13, and only mastered biscuits (American style) and lemon meringue pie within the last 6 years or so. We all have our “stumbling blocks.” I don’t cook everything perfectly all the time, either. Sometimes I forget to check on them as they cook, and sometimes they don’t come out together at the right time, but I’ve learned how to slow one down and speed another up at the same time, so it LOOKS like you did it right.

    • Marcia, thanks for the kind comment. Cooking and food prep is not something I particularly enjoy, so I have mastered a few basic dishes and make those over and over and eat a lot of salad and grilled meat. Fortunately I have a husband who enjoys the challenges of recreating dishes he enjoys, so it’s not the end of the world. In the future I will leave boiling eggs to him.

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