I can feel the season changing, even if it seems like we really do not have seasons in this area. Our weather is generally pretty mild year round, although you will hear much weeping and wailing about how cold it is once the temperatures drop to 60 degrees at noon or the much-needed rains start dumping snow in the sierras and filling the streets with water. Time for change of themes here as well, because while I am ready to chop several inches off my hair, M is not. M likes it at it’s present style and length. Since it’s not driving me stark raving bonkers, I’ll leave it for now. Instead I will get a new blog theme here. It is almost the same.
I was already in the middle of selecting a new theme when a friend texted me to chat. I told her about my redecorating and we started talking about blogging in general and her contemplating a blog restart . She stopped a few months ago for various reasons, but primarily it seems to be the combined weight of expectations from her followers and readers as well as going through a highly challenging period in her personal life. Sometimes it just makes sense to take a break from it. My feeling is when sitting down to post becomes like work, that’s the day I need to stop writing for awhile. Having to work that hard at it makes my posts seem forced, empty, and pointless. I mean, REALLY pointless, unlike the generic pointless that happens here regularly. (*smile*)
In the 260-something posts I have thrown up in the last 10 months, I have gone through my own high and low tides with this process. When I first started I was very hopeful and invested in whatever views or comments or readership I generated while trying not to get my hopes up or become too interested and dependent upon that external feedback. As the days and weeks have passed and the post count mounted I have become less and less concerned about feedback and comments (although I do so enjoy any and all comments, even the snarky mean people who never see the light outside my spam filter). I know there are statistics to review somewhere on here, but I cannot seem to generate the confidence, enthusiasm, or basic interest to seek them out and learn what they mean.
My family and friends – those relationships I value most – are occasional and periodic readers. I know because they will text me with a comment or an “I cannot believe you told the WHOLE WORLD about that!” Those amazed texts (thus far) are not because I am talking about them, but that I basically admit that I my own dorky failings. They know me, they KNOW how dorky, clumsy, and unsophisticated I am, and whether they are awed that I am this honest in print or just extraordinarily embarrassed to be related or close friends with me probably depends upon the content of the post. But hey, they still love me. And as I remind them, the whole world is not reading my blog.
Chatting with my friend tonight, I am reminded at how much the world around us can influence what we say here in the public realm. Since I follow a large number of personal finance blogs, I am overloaded and overwhelmed with frugality. It influences my thinking, for sure, partly because I worry about money for a living and partly because I have gone from way too much consumer debt to no consumer debt. Like so many aspects of life, there tend to be very vocal minorities at the extreme ends of the spectrum.
The why of my blogging tends to be just for me, a little patch of ground to think out loud.