We went out tonight to celebrate A’s 29th birthday, which was 9/22. It was the 6 of us and quite fun. But next time, we will return to more casual meal at home. It’s easier.
Periodically, I am saddened by these events. I mean, love my kids and their significant others. Yet I realize that this is it, this is the primary sum total of our family as it stands right now. M’s father is still alive, but we have been estranged from him for the past few years. It will be a harsh day for M when his dad eventually leaves this earth, not something I wish for or anticipate. The choice was made by my father-in-law, though, and not my husband. In the time since he and his wife (M’s stepmother) filed a restraining order against M, which we successfully defended him against as groundless in a court hearing, we have had zero contact. We get occasional reports from M’s sister, but she rarely speaks to them either.
Family life is complicated, and I so want to have better relationships with my kids than with my own family of origin. Thus far we have been successful.
Already we are thinking about the holidays. G and K will be back east for Thanksgiving, C and A are uncertain of their plans thus far. M and I will be in Las Vegas for that week prior, flying home on Thanksgiving day, and as I told C, we can rustle up something for dinner with a little advance planning. Because of A’s family largesse and probable commitments, that may or may not be an issue. We shall see how it works out. Christmas we are all over the place … no ideas yet as to what we may or may not be doing.
This has been a particularly unproductive and un-happiness inducing weekend. No particular reason why, except my thinking has turned away from the usually sunny side of the planet. “Garbage in, garbage out” was my working post title earlier. It’s hard getting back to work. It’s difficult to feel productive and excited about getting back to work, especially when it’s so far removed from the “fun” types of work. Plowing through one of my part-time jobs this weekend has been dreadful … boring and tedious, but must get done.
Which is where my thinking has been lately … how boring, how tedious my life and times. Only it is not that boring or tedious; it is simply life. I sure I do not REALLY want to change it, or I would be pursuing other avenues to jazz it up somehow. Stability is definitely not overrated, but the grass sometimes looks greener from my side of the fence.