Being adults

It has been a day that makes me realize that we are getting older and our lives full of distractions. It has turned out okay, but a bit of a mess.

We were supposed to take a washer/dryer we had in storage to my son’s new home today. Except when M gets over to the storage unit to retrieve them, the washer is not there. He calls me from the unit asking if we gave them to someone else, and I am like, no its there somewhere, just keep looking. Now this is a fairly large unit, about 10 feet wide and 20 or 30 feet long, and we could have probably crammed everything into a unit about half that size. But M looks around (washing machines are kind of large, square, bulky, and not easily hidden in a 1/3 full storage unit) and nope, no washing machine in there. I wrack my brain and finally remember that we did, in fact, give it to his best friend many, many months ago. Like a year ago. Ugh. I feel like slamming my head into the wall.

So I text my son and tell him that we have a dryer, but he and K will need to select a washing machine and I will purchase it for them as an early Christmas gift. We are still on for dinner, though, so M and I jump in the truck and head over for the grand tour of their new digs.

Except we pulled into the driveway of the wrong house the first time. I felt incredibly stupid. My son drives a Honda civic hatchback with lovely blue paint. M and I are driving along looking for the house number and see a blueberry-shaped car in a driveway that seems close to the number range G provided. M is lowering the tailgate and I am walking up to the porch when I realize it is the wrong house. I scurry back to the truck and then take a clearer look at the car – it’s a 4 door, whereas G’s car is a coupe. I am so embarrassed and grateful no one was home to come out and wonder what the heck we are doing.

About a dozen houses further down the road and we spot G’s car, definitely this time. I double checked the number before getting out of the car this time.

It’s a perfect space for the two of them and Roxy, the pup-pup. Three bedrooms, living room, family room, kitchen. They are within 2 houses of access to the bike path and river access. They are across the street from a public park with an adjoining dog park. It’s a lovely, established area and within a couple of minutes of a freeway onramp. All the things they like to do are right there.

The downside is that the property manager did not really do much to clean the unit before renting it to them. I mean, the carpets are not freshly shampooed, there is dust on every conceivable surface, and several small repairs are needed. DESPITE that, there is a lot of light and nice touches. The back yard is perfect for pup-pup as well as having their friends over for cookouts and such. For a young couple, it’s an almost perfect space. I’m thrilled for them in securing it during such a tight rental housing market.

Having dinner with them is a lot like having dinner with other friends. We laugh, we talk, we share stories of our lives. Tonight our conversation was around homes, the buying and selling and remodeling process. Even G has not heard all of the tales of our home purchase and remodeling adventures, and it was a fun evening out. For whatever reason, growing up, my relationship with my own parents, M’s relationship with his father and stepmother, I never imagined a dinner out with my kid and his girl would be such a relaxed, enjoyable time. It is like those fantasy families on TV, where they are close and communicate and enjoy one another’s company. It is far better than I ever imagined possible, much less hoped for when I thought about empty nesting and what our lives would be like.

Why this type of thing is different than family dinners at our house … I could not truly tell you. It just is. And I am happy it is. Now if I could just get M to stop talking about his fatalistic concerns of younger people and long-term relationships I could for a little while overlook that I am a mother. I guess we watch them grow up, let them go, and then spend at least a small portion of our time after that hoping and praying they make smart choices, wise decisions, and never ever get their hearts broken.

2 thoughts on “Being adults

  1. Arriving to the home of someone else, thinking it was someone we know intimately…yeah, that has happened to me on a few occasions. LoL. Sometimes I ring the doorbell and we are both left stump. “Is this not…” Oh no, you are correct, but you are looking for “avenue,” this is “street.”
    Other times, no one is home and the sense of embarrassment is my own. LoL.

    Reading your post makes me think of my parents. As children, we sometimes forget our parents are, well, human. LoL. They were kids at one point and as they see us leaving the home, one-by-one, a piece of them seems to be departing along with our departure. Eventually, we begin this process when we have children as well. They grow up and soon leave, then the cycle continues. Life is truly interesting.

    Now that you are in an empty nest, how do you find yourself passing time? Do you make it a ritual of sorts, to be in touch each day, week, etc? When I started college, that is perhaps when I finally realized my parents were human. As children, we have this image of our parents as if they are larger than life. Well, when she dropped me off at the campus, she cried the entire way home. I have such an immense appreciation for my elders and of course my parents. There is so much to learn through their words. By the way, did their hunt for this rental unit take long, or did they know right away it was the right choice? I bid them all the best going forward.

    • Thanks for the kind comment. It is funny, but I cannot imagine my kids seeing me/us as anything but human. We have made our share of mistakes which impacted/affected the kids very directly (acquiring debt and adjusting our lifestyle comes immediately to mind), yet we were/are always honest about our faults and flaws and our trying to do better. Being open about the reality of our lives – the good and the not so good – is now a defining quality of our relationship as adults. I believe it also helps that my husband and I genuinely enjoy our lives as empty nesters. I had my kids in my early 20s and loved being their hands-on mom while that period of time lasted. However, I been looking forward to this childless period for a very long time as well and enjoy each and every minute of it.

      Their search for a home started back in July, and they have applied or tried to apply for a couple of other homes before succeeding with this one. It is always wonderful to see those you love most happy in a new situation and all its possibilities.

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