Honestly, the gift shopping has unleashed our general propensity to spend money is from its restraints. I have a serious case of buy-buy-buy right now and must simply start telling myself NO! and meaning it.

There is a certain amount of emotional logic behind it that I understand. Full-time job is depressingly AWFUL right now and I have minimal escape outlets. I exercise more, because I have eaten a fun-size candy bar from the Halloween stash every single day for the last week. While this in itself is a significant improvement from other periods in my life (when multiple king sized candy bars would have been consumed), it is still a setback in overall health and wellness. While I cannot go into specific details here, those in real life who have heard the sordid details completely agree that my anger, frustration, worry, and stress are warranted. That said, I still need to get a better grip.

In my defense of the past few days spendapalooza, the majority of my purchases have been prefunded. Previously established Christmas budget for gifts and decor bling have not yet been exceeded, but I do not know if they will hold through a several days of shopping in Las Vegas. Or does that come from my vacation spending budget? Either way, I have shopping dollars set aside for our trip. To my way of thinking, we do not drink alcohol or gamble when we are there, so other than interesting restaurants and shopping at stores we do not have nearby ours is a pretty low-key Vegas experience.

Tonight we went over to the mall to return a couple of dresses I’d ordered online that were disastrous mistakes. I knew they were risky, but the dresses ran large and shapeless and I am not yet into wearing anything that M describes as a “housedress” on first glimpse. M is generous in his praise and usually very thoughtfully diplomatic in his “OMG that’s hideous!” opinions. Tonight, though, he was simply brutally honest in his “that is just awful” upon seeing me draped in this material. Back they went.

After the return experience, we stopped by the apple store to look at Mac mini computers. M has been having a daily battle with his PC. I don’t know if it’s a virus, malware, or just plain bad luck, but every single day there is a string of curse words and angry, raised voice yelling at his computer when he’s trying to download his run information from the very fancy GPS watch he wears. Every. Single. Day. Last night I decided I have had enough with his machine and resolved to replace it. I love my Macbook Pro, but M did not want to spend that kind of cash on an informational entertainment value box for himself. While I have never had the issues he does with a PC, I am also pretty conservative in my computer habits. I don’t Facebook or frequent social media sites, and M is all over social media between his running groups and other hobbies and probably more susceptible to malware and such. We have been discussing getting a Mac, and after last night’s meltdown over his PC’s issue I decided it was either acquire a Mac for him or marriage counseling. The Mac seems cheaper.

So into the apple store we wander, and while we knew we would be walking out with the Mac mini, I made the mistake of picking up one of a new iPad Air. I think I may be in love. Pure, unadulterated want, because M and I both have 4th generation iPads and I also have an iPad mini that I won in a giveaway a couple of months back. I use both my iPads pretty sparingly, the full size one is my entertainment while exercising and the mini gets carted as an e-reader. The helpful apple guy says they do take trade ins, so maybe I’ll give up both my devices for a single iPad air. After Christmas. Maybe. Definitely at least after vacation. I must have some will power left somewhere.

The Mac purchase was planned and funded, only it was on the timeline for after Christmas. But now it’s here, across from me, with its own little keyboard and touchy pad. The former PC monitor is working fine attached to it and M has been making positive exclamations and happy-sounding noises since its arrival.

I am disappointed in myself, because I am usually much more disciplined about shopping and spending. I do tend to lose my mind completely when Christmas shopping starts, because it’s like an addiction that it difficult to curb once the cycle of shopping and spending gets started. M’s new computer is a want, but anything that makes him this happy is worthwhile to me. Our plan is to take his older box to geek squad or equivalent and let them clean it up, clean it out, then gift it to one of our friends whose kids share his laptop.

And while I’m not blowing money we did not have available and earmarked for the purposed spending, it always makes me nervous when I go into shopping overdrive. The addictive spender in me is always lurking and waiting for her opportunity to just go batshit crazy.


2 thoughts on “November: what’s a budget again?

  1. Hey, great post. I know it’s disappointing when we go overboard with our spending, but don’t we all have one weak spot? Don’t be too hard on yourself, and let’s get back to the usual budgeting:)
    My husband and I just started to follow a budget in order to payback student loan. I think your blog is very inspirational and will look forward to more stories from you and M!
    Vanessa from http://24vs100.wordpress.com/

    1. Welcome to my blog and thank you so much for your kind comments. The journey to getting rid of debt can be long and feel really hard, but it’s not forever. We have been out of debt for many years but I know what got us into it and how hard it was to climb and claw our way back out.

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