Normally I am pretty relaxed around the holidays. Our entertainment style tends to be DIY at its best, with plenty of food and drink available of which to partake. The kids are coming by tomorrow night, and that has just expanded to include A’s parents and brothers as well as a couple of friends unexpectedly in town.

I did not plan enough food. I think my house is a mess. I need to get M to cart the Christmas tree and other decorations boxes we have stashed in the guest room to the storage. We need to make another trip to Costco for food and drink. Although I am not working tomorrow, I have an appointment to have the car serviced first thing in the morning. It suddenly feels like my to-do list has grown and my available hours have shrunk. Usually I am very zen about this sort of thing, but right now I’m obsessing about details.

At the end of this little self-imposed melt-down, I realize it does not matter. We have food in the house, no one will go away or be turned away hungry. Our family and our friends are coming to see us, not white-glove my bathrooms. The unexpected friends are here for sad reasons, in that her dad has started hospice and she cannot bear to respect his wishes and stay away in what may be his final hours. As she said to me in text this morning, she is coming to say goodbye for now and will seek her dad’s forgiveness when they meet in Heaven.

Perspective is important, even if I am still secretly contemplating how long it will take me to surface clean my whole house.

3 thoughts on “Two days before Christmas … and I am FREAKING out!

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