My coworker went to the crash site yesterday, hoping to find his daughter’s cell phone or any other personal items that have gone missing. He stopped by the office to see me and shared more details from the police report and witnesses on scene, and I had nightmares all night about my own children having similar car accidents and calling out to me. It is horrible.
So I am a little bleary eyed and hitting the caffeine this morning. I feel okay, texted both my kids with mundane queries and got back replies. I am grateful for their understanding. I am not a “clingy” sort of parent, and it is not unusual for me to text at odd hours. But I know both are aware how affected I am by the death of children; I am simply grateful they understand and make allowances.
The depressive grieving feeling is hard to shake.