Life stuff

M and I have been working on our wills and establishing a plan for what happens to our assets and stuff after our life cycle ends. Considering this last week, the timing is both magnificently sucky and completely appropriate to spur me/us into action.

We are scheduled to meet with the attorney first thing Thursday morning to finalize and sign our documents. After that it’s a matter of retitling the house and our bank, investment, and retirement accounts. We still have a little more work to do on specific bequests, like my engagement ring and jewelry, M’s antique clock, plus a few other items with great sentimental value.

After everything is finalized I will need to sit down with the kids and provide them a big-picture overview of our final plans. We plan to appoint a professional fiduciary at this point to allocate and distribute anything they might receive from us until they reach the age of 40. Our reasoning is not because we feel they are irresponsible with money or cannot be entrusted with it, but M points out that if something unexpected were to happen to me the kids would be extraordinarily devastated. If M outlives me, he will also need some help managing. But if something were to befall us simultaneously, we feel this would be the best solution to give the kids some needed support to get things sorted out. After age 40 … I figure they kids would still be devastated, but probably they would be more settled in lives of their own and less impacted by my absence.

My goodness I can imagine few other things so depressing and anxiety-inducing to discuss, especially with my beloved children. They hate even contemplating world without me in it, which in itself is really much nicer than just the generic not wanting people to die, and I know I am not ready to consider it either. But we have to be practical and ensure our paperwork is in order, and since the arrangements we are making are a little unusual, I want to explain to them the reasoning behind it. If there are any strong objections, I am hopeful they will just be as they have always been and speak up about it. The nice thing about such documents is they can be amended and updated as circumstances and situations change.

Knowing this is on the schedule for Thursday and my overall state of mind these past couple of weeks, my emotional eating has been spiking and my exercise has been even worse. I am sticking with my 30 minutes of daily cardio – I’ve only missed 2 days since January 1 – but it has been mostly leisurely, social type cardio. Walking in the neighborhood or around the office, rowing casually just to not lose any ground. But honestly, I need to get more intense, more focused, AND clean up my eating.

So I am seeking to mix things up a bit. Tonight I went to my first ever Pilates class, and it was quite challenging. Yet fun. It was a beginning class, for those of us who have never done Pilates on a reformer or have been away for awhile. It was interesting, and kind of fun. I have 2 weeks of unlimited classes, so I plan to take a several more beginner classes to see if it’s something that is useful for me. Ideally I would like to incorporate more variety into my exercise routines as well as amp up my intensity. I have thus far resisted weight training (not at all my favorite thing), but my need to elevate my heart rate is important.

After my Pilates class I came home and tried out the beginning HIIT (high intensity interval training) on my arc trainer. That was interesting. I can still feel the effects on my lungs. This could work for me, so I’ll try the program through the 8 week program and see how it works out for me. We shall see. I feel gross and grosser about myself and need to step up my game. The feelings are relatively transitory and unfortunately far too familiar and “normal” for this time of year. I try to overcome, try not to fall into this hole, but every year I have faltered and end up back here – eating crap food and then climbing back up on the cleaner eating wagon.

I have another Pilates class tomorrow morning, and then an hour long Bikram class tomorrow night, making for an interesting exercise ended day. Mid-April I am taking a beginning yoga class at another studio, a workshop that teaches the basic posts for vinyasa. Bikram has been wonderful for me – same poses, same order, every studio, every class – but I would like to experience some other studios. This workshop will be educational if nothing else.

Life is progressing and it’s good. Even if I do feel kind of tired and gross tonight. Tomorrow is a new day with a lot of good-for-me experiences waiting in the wings.

5 thoughts on “Life stuff

  1. It is great that you are sorting things out AND giving the kids a heads up/understanding of what you are doing. I wish my Dad had been as upfront with us – it would have avoided a lot of questions/hurt feelings to understand why he did what he did.

    On the eating/exercise thing (I’m a long time type 2 diabetic for reference) – always tough. I love Pilates with the right instructor. For me it is one who can identify when the student is struggling and give guidance on form and modifying the exercise so that you can be successful without hurting yourself. Plus you are challenged. Mat classes are great but the reformer is amazing. If you like the reformer – may be worth a couple of private sessions to make sure your form is good/you’re comfortable on the machine and learn how you can make each exercise harder/easier as needed.

    My other suggestion is a personal trainer. I have had good and bad luck throughout the years and currently have a great one. I am easily bored, hate exercise but need to incorporate more. He keeps the routine constantly changing while pushing me along to the next level. I’m doing stuff I thought I could never do (at all) and improving all the time. Which keeps me motivated. I also explained my goal was to do a particularly challenging hike and needed to work on stamina and balance too and he incorporates that (example – arm curls while standing on one leg after getting heart rate up on cardio break). I just had blood work done – results next week – so we’ll see how the new workouts have impacted me – besides going down almost 2 sizes in clothing.

    My 2 cents for the day!

    • My goodness, SAK – 2 dress sizes is AMAZING! Congratulations on earning such amazing rewards. I agree the A1c number is the ultimate objective here … but 2 dress sizes? I’d be happy with that.

      Thanks for some really excellent advice. I am taking my second Pilates class this morning and planning for maximum use of my 2 weeks unlimited. After that, I think I may invest in a few private sessions as well, because I am concerned about balance and technique. We’ll see after I’m done with a half dozen beginner classes.

      I haven’t thought about trying a personal trainer again, but it might be time to seek one out yet again. It’s been probably 10 years since I last hired one and I think if the Pilates and yoga switch-up does not boost me enough that will be my next step.

      • 2 dress sizes almost makes me cry. I decided to try on a dress that was a plain old XL – and it fit beautifully. In mid-2012 in a health crisis I could barely fit a plus size 24 – so I was a little sniffly in the dressing room. And yes I bought the dress! 🙂 BTW – if you decide to hire a trainer I’m happy to share my recent experience and some tips from my trainer about the best way to find a trainer that actually gets results. Enjoy the Pilates!!

  2. I recently prepared a will for my Grandma. She has very little property & family so we were able to do it on our own. I’m in charge of everything. I handled all paperwork after Mom died (I was 23 & completely distraught), so I feel confident I can do it again. I’m also in charge of my other Grandpa’s estate and my Dad’s. Although Dad doesn’t have a will yet. Feels like a lot to handle at my age (28 now), but I’m proud they trust me.

    P.S. I love yoga!

    • TLC, heck, I’m proud of you for doing so much and being so responsible at such a young age. We are a small family, and we are structuring our “stuff” so the kids have some help and support with sorting out and dealing our assets and such after we’re no longer around. Our thinking is that sometime in the next 10-12 years things will sort out, and we may choose to update things and leave more of the responsibility in the kids’ hands.

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