A’s mother has invited me to join her and her sisters in a shopping adventure, ladies lunch thing this weekend. I was genuinely flattered to be asked and have tentatively agreed to accompany them. There is another family wedding coming up in May, and the ladies require new dresses for the occasion. They felt since at some point we will need mothers-of-happy-couple dresses, we should have a practice run at how we shop together.
At least that’s how I’m reading it. I could be being cynical about it. Or them be out to pressure me to pressure C to hurry up and set a date and get planning already. Not going to happen – my daughter is an adult and should be allowed to take as much or as little time setting a date and planning a wedding as she sees fit – but it will be interesting to hang out and see how it feels.
I have not hung out with A’s mom in quite awhile, and truthfully this will be the first “girls” event to include me. She and her sisters are all very nice women; we are different in many ways. However, while I am a little nervous (I have anxiety about being the odd woman out), I also know I barely know any of them and this is an opportunity to simple relax and get to know them better. I am being hopeful and thinking positively about the experience, and I find myself looking forward to it. Worst case scenario? We have some sort of screeching cat fight (unlikely – I am so not the type) or I excuse myself early and bitch to M about the experience driving home (more likely – assuming it does not go well).
What would be great is if we find the common ground and expand upon it. Our families will soon have a firmer connection and for their sakes I want us to get along and be comfortable around each other. My daughter is not the easiest girl to get to know – I grieve that I have passed along my social awkwardness/anxiety to her – and it has been a slow process integrating her into their big, boisterous family unit. I love that they are a big, boisterous, close family in some ways, yet I know their habits of being involved in everyone else’s business grates on C and has required both she and A to make some adjustments and some compromises. I’m enormously proud of both of them for their efforts to build and strengthen their relationship.
Anyway, I’m excited about the invitation. It’s sort of like being the wallflower girl being invited by the pretty girls to do something publicly.
But as my daughter warned her fiance, his mother does not want to mess with me or expire my patience by pushing her personal agenda about their wedding plans. I am apparently not so nice when at the limit line. I laugh about that, because it so rarely happens. It secretly pleases me to no end that my son and my daughter think I can be scary and fierce on their behalf. Well, maybe not so secretly. *smile*