Tiger mom forever

My daughter just called – a rarity on a weekday and usually means something has happened. It could possibly be a good something, but more often than not I am braced for a not-so-good something.

Today it was an emotional something. C recently accepted a new job and started training last week. Things are going well, but when she gave notice at her prior job, they bent over backwards to retain her as a part-time employee, and in a moment of weakness she agreed. During her training she is working days, Monday through Friday, and when her regular 60% schedule begins, it will be overnights Saturday and Sunday, as in 7 p.m. Saturday to 7 a.m. Sunday, back Sunday at 7 p.m. until 7 a.m. Monday. She has to pick up one other shift during the week – coverage for vacation or peak workloads or simply be the on-call RVT – and she is fine with that. Around those commitments, she would take a shift or two with her prior vet hospital.

Last weekend she was scheduled to be off at 4 p.m. She and A were having dinner with the parents and she wanted enough time to go  home, relax a bit, shower and get ready for the evening. Instead they ran late and wanted her to stay, which she declined to do because of this commitment, and was essentially written up and “talked to” about her attitude. It was infuriating to her.

My advice was to simply walk away. The problems, issues, low pay, and overall aggravating features of that job were not going to miraculously change now that she had another job and was only a part-time employee. In fact, when she originally told me about agreeing to stay on part-time I predicted it would actually be more aggravating than having it as her full-time job. Unfortunately I was right. I hate when I am right about the wrong things.

Anyway, it has been bothering her all week … to the point of not sleeping, grinding her teeth and making her teeth and jaws hurt. A’s grandfather passed away yesterday and his services are Saturday, when she was supposed to be at work, and she finally cracked and decided to let go of the part-time job. It’s not worth your health and peace of mind, C, we all told her; she finally heard us.

My daughter has my hyper-responsible gene, especially when it comes to her job. She takes it seriously, strives to act professionally, and the issue of going back on her commitments has been a genuine struggle. But today, with wanting to support A and be with him at his grandfather’s funeral, she realized that no matter how much (or how little) they were paying her at the part-time job, it was no longer worth it. C called her manager and let her know she would not be working this weekend and resigned her part-time status.

The manager was not pleased and spoke harshly to my daughter, called her unprofessional and ungrateful. Really? Was that necessary? C was in tears and on the verge of a panic attack when she called me, needing someone to calmly talk her down, and since A was not available (with his dad working on funeral arragements), mom is the next best resource. I listened. I reassured her. I applauded her decision as the right one for her, and despite the seemingly short notice of her departure, I also assured her that this has happened to her manager before and will happen again in the future in much less convenient circumstances. It may mean more work for the manager to schedule someone else, or she, the manager, may have to cover the shifts herself. It’s a PITA, but hey, that’s why we administrative bosses get paid what we get paid. From personal and professional experience, I know she lashed out and said what she did in frustration and anger at the personal inconvenience.

That does not mean I do not have steam coming out my ears for being such a bitch to my child. Yes, my child is turning 30 in December, but once a mom always a mom. And this mom has zero tolerance for abuses of power that make my kid cry and upset her to the verge of a panic attack. C has struggles with depression and anxiety, not things she shares with her employers, but it’s also not easy for her to accept less than full responsibility for that woman’s tantrum.

I cannot and will not call and complain or drive over there and slap her. But GAWD I want to! In this instance I have to accept the all I can do is talk C down from the ledge and remind her to eat some lunch before going back to work. And to call or text me when she’s off, so I know she is okay.

I really can’t go over to that hospital and slap that manager, right? It’s bad form? Let my daughter fight her own battles and all that good mom shit? Honest, I am not a violent person. But dang … she made my kid cry.

2 thoughts on “Tiger mom forever

  1. And she calls your daughter unprofessional?! Wow. She will be so much better off not having anything to do with that company any longer. Life is too short to let people treat you like that.

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