I started thinking about this writing my latest entry to my Fall Fitness 2015 series. With 17 hours of personal training left in my initial investment, what is my overall goal/plan for this purchase?
Originally, I thought it was to learn how to safely and sanely perform strength training exercises. That is still the foundation of everything I do with and learn from trainer J and will not change no matter if it’s 20 or 20,000 personal training sessions.
However, what happens when he concludes teaching me the basic movements? Am I now done, free to move about the club with confidence that I know what I am doing and how not to hurt myself? Yes, that will likely be mostly true, but it presently seems unlikely. Even if he had enough hours to show me how to use every single piece of equipment in the club, I feel like knowing how to use it and the when and why to use it most efficiently and effectively will take a lot more time and education.
By the end of this series, I will know a lot more than I know right now. In the weeks I have been training under J’s watchful eye I have learned a lot and made significant progress in what I knew then, what I know now. The ongoing quandary is what do I wish to do with the knowledge I gain, and will I have gained enough to carry me through and across the goal line? Most importantly – where is and what is the goal line? Do I even have a clue as to my end game here?
Obviously I want to continue to progress, but I have no clear direction in this regard, no yellow brick road to follow. Sure, I want to burn fat and reveal toned muscle – doesn’t everyone? Let’s assume I am successful, and svelt Janelle presents herself to a brave new world. What happens next? Does svelt me continue to do the same basic things into infinity to maintain the pretty muscle I eventually (hopefully) reveal? (Please note that I have to believe pretty muscle is lying dormant and waiting to be toned and strengthened and revealed to the world; this alone is a huge change for me.)
I am starting to realize and accept that I want more. I want to be stronger, most definitely. I want functional (and pretty!) muscles, functional (plus pretty, graceful, and feminine!) strength, not just to be big and bulky and pining for a gold lamé bikini so I can pretend to compete at senior citizen body building competitions. (OMG – the visual that appeared in my imagination with that sentence about made me choke with laughter.)
Before I thought I just wanted to be healthy weight, healthy-health, stronger bones, and the flexibility to move gracefully into older and wiser years. Now I feel that maybe there is more out there for me from all this. I am starting to dream of being truly fit, beginning to desire the confidence that comes from knowing my own physical strength and perhaps pushing it to another incremental level (but still look feminine, with more ass-kicking potential).
Maybe I do want the silver lamé bikini (goes better with my hair and skin coloring), fake-bake skin, and cheesey poses on a stage somewhere with other mature, very fit, very powerful-looking ladies.
That seems so far and deep in a hazy future that I am almost afraid to articulate it out loud. Plus I am not sure about how to achieve it, if I want to actually elevate it to goal status or simply tuck it into the back of my mind and disguise it under more modest waypoints in that general direction. Anyone out there know what I’m talking about? Any advice about how to get started tip-toeing in the general direction?
I am going to continue my ponderings and think this through more completely before bringing it up with trainer J; he might actually take me seriously and start working me harder to make it happen. I suspect under that mild mannered, patient coach and trainer facade lies a very disciplined, hard-driving task master just waiting to happen. Either that or I am terrified of my own ambitious ideas.