We returned from our trip mid-afternoon Monday. It was nice getting away, and Seattle is a lovely city in its way. It was not really to our taste, though; I guess we are not big city people. Still, we got to do everything we wanted and then some.

If I sound a little flat about it, there is nothing wrong with our adventure. We had a nice time, only I think it is not someplace we will be longing to return to in a year. Washington state is truly beautiful, and my ho-hum description of our vacation stems mostly from the post-vacation stress of work, deadlines, commitments, and how my particular personality handles all of the above.

I feel more fatigued now than if I had never been away.

Which is truly sad, because vacations are supposed to have the opposite effect. I was very happy to return home, to my own familiar surroundings and to sleep in my own bed (the hotel bed was akin to sleeping on a piece of plywood). Being newly self-employed has its downsides, though, because I returned to a flood of phone calls and emails from clients showing restraint and not bothering me while away.

While I was good with exercise and diet while on vacation, I have not done anything since Sunday. No rowing, no arc training, no practicing for tomorrow’s training appointment, no yoga. I have been working long days and not eating well at all.

Frankly I feel like shit. I am exhausted and unpleasant in my own skin, desiring nothing more than to veg in front of mindless TV or get more sleep. Not very fun to be around right now.

Tonight I have an after-work commitment, tomorrow I have my training appointment with J at 8:30. I have lost count of the number of times I have considered texting and pleading “too busy” this week. Thinking about how strongly I really just want to bail on him tells me just how badly I need to suck it up and deal with it, make myself go and be present in the appointment, even if we go back and start from scratch. For me, the slippery slope to not exercising becomes a lot easier when I have no J working with me and making me recognize my accountability. I need to get back to my daily cardio, my regular yoga, and my working my way through the weekly routines J puts together for me. My eating is way off as well, and getting back on track there actually seems like a simpler proposition. Daily eating alarms here I come.

Work is work; I knew it would be at least this bad and suspected it could potentially be a lot worse. I need to pull myself together and just keep plugging away at it, because we leave again in 2 weeks for another week of vacation. Hopefully my return from that will not be this seemingly endless struggle to elevate my attitude and energy levels.

Maybe it’s just caffeine withdrawal? I did have great coffee in Seattle and everywhere we went in Washington.

6 thoughts on “Back to work

  1. I blame Seattle. I hear from a lot of people – it is a nice enough place but ehh. I love cities – and it is an ok one but doesn’t elicit strong feelingd (love visiting NYC – would hate living there – love Paris and would love to live there). So when I spend vacation time there i feel a bit like i am wasting my time. you will find that vacation and work will start to blend more as a self employed person too – but it can and should be managed (says person who was up at 4am for a call while on vacation)

    1. Exactly. My clients were amazingly restrained while I was gone – there were maybe 6 emails/texts and a few phone calls that were truly something they needed me for – but once I got home it was like the floodgates opened and everything came raining down. But I’m brand new at this stuff; I will learn as I bumble along.

  2. im going to say something not popular, quit exercising, you sound miserable lol, im not sure its worth it, I was doing the whole exercise thing and I HATED it, it made me miserable, so I just tried to lower my portions and not eat as much, just a thought

    1. You made me laugh, Betty, and in so many ways the exercise is a hard and miserable chore. Believe me, if I COULD stop exercising I would! Unfortunately being diabetic means I need this as well as monitoring food and portion control. Thanks for stopping by and for leaving me a comment. I’ll try harder to contain my misery … *laugh*

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