Thursday was my sixth of 20 personal training appointments. In light of last week’s session using dumb bells and more importantly the weight bench (we do not have one of those at home), I have been stepping up my club visits. And in tune with that it seems like every time I went in the last week J has either been present working or present working/doing his own workouts. We had an honest conversation about my anxiety and feelings about being there, and rather than pooh-poohing my invisibility cloak he offered a viable alternative. This week I learned how to do the following on a versatile tower-like weight machine with cables:
- Single leg squats
- Overhead pulling thing
- Tricep press
- Shoulder press
- Chest press
- Weight-assisted hinges
- Oblique press thing
J changed plans when we met and did not have my
security blanket self-guided instrustructions written, so I am winging it yet again on the names. I will update this post once I receive it with proper exercise name.
For once I am actually pretty excited about the new stuff I am learning and feel eager to return to the club to practice my new movements. J did not tell me what weight to use on each exercise and he was the one moving the pins, so I will have to figure it out when I return tonight. I will likely go too light at first, so I’ll keep experimenting until it feels almost too heavy.
On my goals update:
- Weight – Drop 20 lbs. ON TRACK
Week six finds me neither up nor down yet again. I am not especially bothered by this, particularly in light of my recent triumph fitting into a pair of khakis that have not buttoned in months that now fit perfectly. As I said at the beginning of this journey, it’s ALL about the clothes! I have been trying to implement the habits described in Georgie Fear’s “Lean Habits” book, although I am currently gazelle-intense on habit #1 – eat 3 meals daily with no snacking. Today marks day 13 and I can say that I am seeing and feeling the difference even if the scale refuses to reflect any changes.
- Strength training – 3 times per week on my own. ON TRACK
From my prior training session (9/3), I was at the gym for 3 days practicing my routines as well as doing several exercises at home every day. Bear planks are never going to be my favorite way to pass the time, but they are definitely getting better. Today I feel as if my abs are made of bruised materials.
- Stretching/Flexibility – 3 to 4 yoga practices per week. ON TRACK
Four practices this week – Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. It’s still a challenge – a huge challenge – but I am hanging in and trying to master the postures and the breathing. With everything I am trying to learn, breathing is a consistent issue in all endeavors.
- Cardio/HIIT – 3 days per week. KINDA ON TRACK
Rowing daily since our return from Seattle. In fact, J did a “row check” yesterday and is very pleased with my improved technique. He also recommended another minor change – pause at the back stroke – to make for bigger, more efficient energy expenditures. I tried it last night and again this morning and it is definitely an expenditure I can feel. Likely this is a major contributor to my “abs of mushed bruises” feelings today.
- Post updates each week. ON TRACK
Here we are – update from session 6 of 20. Things are progressing and I continue to learn new and intriguing things each week. While you readers are likely bored to tears with my ongoing discussions, this is a Very Big Deal to me. Never in my entire life have I felt like I could lift weights, any weights, without ongoing, paralyzing fear of harming myself or others. I could still harm myself by doing something wrong, but at least I now recognize where I am weak and need to work on in my practice. Probably I could hurt others as well. I had a heart-stopping moment yesterday when the weigh plates clanked and J’s fingers had been near that area mere seconds prior. Visions of broken digits and being fired as a client flashed through my head.
Everyone seems completely confident that I will grow more assured and confident and at ease being at the club as time passes, I get stronger, and gain mastery over the weights and exercise movements. I am skeptical, but I have faith in J and in M and trust their judgments about my potential and abilities. Right now the only thing I can think of to do is keep forcing myself to keep going, do everything I can within and just outside my comfort zone, ask questions, and keep trying. If I can keep my crazy brain in check I should be able to relax and just enjoy my time doing what needs to be done. I am doing well with the no snacking habit – another thing I was skeptical about my success with at first – so controlling my emotions about the gym is well within the realm of possibility. However, patience is not a top tier skill for me. The only choice left is to either give up or keep plugging away at it. I am now too invested to give up, so another Friday night at the gym for me.
Happy weekending everyone!