On Sunday I am meeting with G and K and K’s stepmother to visit the proposed venue for their wedding and reception. It’s kind of heady, exciting stuff to contemplate and I genuinely appreciate being invited to participate in the planning. Even if I do nothing else until next summer when I am trying to figure out my own dress for the event, it is nice to be asked to tour venues with the happy couple.

But I expect there will be other shopping or picture texts back and forth as dress shopping commences, etc. K has already told me there will be no flowers – she is a practical girl after my own heart and views this as a waste of money.

It occurs to me now that we, as parents of the groom, are expected to host the rehearsal dinner. Hmmmm. I am 99.99% sure it will be a restaurant event. Not because my home is not large enough to handle a crowd, but because it will be a lot easier in what I already anticipate with be hectic days ahead of wedding. Besides, I do not really want to cook for the strangers who will not really be strangers by that time. And … there will be out-of-town family here at that time and I want to ensure we have room/leeway to invite them if needed.

We have a favorite Chinese restaurant that I’d love to utilize for the occasion, but of course I’ll need to talk it over with G and K. I also have lots and lots of time to think about it further, but my own little list for this is starting to form in my head. It secretly makes me a little glad my daughter is so on the fence about a large wedding event; she hates being the center of attention that way and would vastly prefer a low-key elopement type arrangement and then perhaps a celebratory party after the fact. It is an ongoing conversation, and believe me, we are in no rush for anyone in the family to tie the knot and are exerting no pressure. K is just an organized person and has had a lot of time and been involved in a lot of weddings just in the time she has been dating my son. I am not at all surprised she’s already trying to figure out the big-picture logistics so she can start focusing on the details of what she wants to do and how she wants to do it.

What I find really endearing is how much my son is getting into it as well. They have already drawn up an initial guest list, and it went from an initial 85 down to 75 and may have been pared a bit more since I last spoke to K. They are hoping to keep it at or about 60 RSVPs, and assuming those are all couples, it would be about 120 people. Probably just right. Our family is pretty tiny, K’s more complicated but not huge as well. But they have tons of friends from high school, college, and jobs, so it’s difficult to keep it on the more intimate scale they both desire. I think they are doing swell this first week out of the box.

M is concerned about the weather – it’s typically still freaking hot in our neck of the woods in September. I console him that it’s probably going to be inside, the A/C will be running, and he can remove his suit coat and loosen his tie once the ceremony and photos are done.

Then I realized that the Reno Air Races could be that week, which would be a major disappointment for him. But I checked, and that is the week after the wedding. So whew! M will be able to get his aviation fix in 2016.

C has been watching her diet and going to the gym regularly all summer and has dropped a noticeable amount of weight and about halfway to her goal. She is already planning to step-up her efforts as well, because she wants to look her best in whatever bridesmaid dress she ends up wearing. Weight management fever has ratcheted up with the actual date being set and a goal established. But it’s fun. It makes planning for holiday meals a lot easier knowing others are also watching how much sugar and how many carbs they are consuming.

It’s a fun time for our family, yet there is a thread of sadness thinking of those who will not be present for the fun and festivities. Every holiday is like that for me, though; no matter how many people are crowded around our table at family meals and holiday events, I always see an empty chair and unused place setting, the memory of the glow of my oldest child’s sweet smile still lighting up my thoughts. For both G and C, it’s their sister and their father they will be missing, and it truly makes me a little sad to contemplate these milestones without them there with us. My ex-husband is an ex for good reasons, but we always put our kids’ well being first and remained cordial if not close through the years.

Okay, as of this minute there is just over 10 months to get myself pulled together into some semblance of wedding shape and organization. Plus the deck rebuilt and the front yard transformed into grass or something that looks better than the present drought-resistant pile of dirt. It will happen.

4 thoughts on “Wedding ponderings

  1. it’s nice when their plans are in line with your tastes. I told my DD to at least give me a few years before she gets married so I can start saving up for it and she told me “you aren’t paying for our wedding. He has a good job and by then I’ll have a good paying job. We’ll take care of it ourselves”. OK, works for me! Not that they are engaged yet, but I’m sure it will be happening at some point, as they’ve already discussed it and plan to live together when she graduates next June.

    1. That’s fantastic! DH and I had long ago decided on an amount to gift the kids for their wedding from us. As far as we’re concerned, they can use it to pay for the event or whatever, but our stronger preference would be they use it for a downpayment on a home. But that’s just us – it’s the accountant in me that puts the practical before the romance.

  2. 10 months – you have tons of time. You might want to think about the look you want – both in terms of the dress/outfit and the body shape. Tell J and he can keep that in mind when devising your torture – oops – I meant exercise! congrats to C too – great work on her part. Exercise helps with depression I know but depression makes it hard to get motivated

    1. LAUGHING … torture? Damn straight! And these days, I think I would not have it any other way.
      As for the dresses, I’m a person of really simple tastes. I am leaning toward a sheath dress of some sort or shape, sleeveless maybe one of those nice cut-in halter-ish type strappy shoulder neckline treatments. This seems to dovetail nicely with the amount of arms and back work he dreams up every week.
      C is doing brilliantly with her diet and exercise. She’s walking 10,000 steps daily, between what she does to, from, and during work, and the time she spends at the gym each evening as well. She’s starting to work with a trainer as well to work on resistance training. It’s inspiring.

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