Yesterday I met K and her stepmother for breakfast (G joined us after his running group ended). It was a really nice meal and time hanging out together. K’s stepmother is also planning to marry sometime in the next 6 months, so this wedding venue viewing worked well for her as well. It was a really nice meal, talking about our different family experiences, weddings, and how we have gotten where we are today.

K is enroute to a promotion at her recently acquired job. Her hiring supervisor gave notice about a month ago, and after some initial forays into inteviewing a replacement, the biggest bosses decided it would be better to promote K and hire a replacement for her, which is an easier position to fill. I’m so proud of her and not at all surprised. That girl is the energizer bunny and the poster child for Type A up-and-coming career woman.

The venue is actually less than 10 minutes from our house, 15 mintues if we walked through the greenbelt behind our home. It’s a lovely hotel property, right on the lake and surrounded by a lot of natural beauty and historical sites. We took the tour with the wedding coordinator and looked at the 2 options available. K liked one courtyard area for the ceremony, but she liked the much larger reception room that was associated with the other courtyard area, which she basically hated. The larger room did have a beautiful draped ceiling and chandeliers, but for the additional $2500 food and drink minimum she decided she could be perfectly happy with the plain ceiling in the smaller space. The smaller space also gave access to the firepit and outdoor patio area, which in September could make for a truly significant extra gathering area. This location also lends itself to meeting friends in the nearby town, a popular place with lots of trendy bars and drinking establishments. While the actual wedding and reception will be fairly small, there is a lot of room for afterparties nearby.

Costs for everything they wanted – including an open bar, hors d’eouve while they are taking pictures, buffet dinner, and champage/cider for toasts, set-up/clean-up, etc., was about their budget for the wedding and they did not feel like they wanted to look any further. Deposits were made, contracts signed, venue has been booked for the September 9, 2016 wedding event.

And I felt completely exhausted just talking about all the details. Still, K’s plans and dreams for this will be realized, I’m sure.

One thing that both her stepmother and thought she should rethink was the bridesmaid dresses. K said she was going to select the color she wanted, and then the girls could go out and pick any dress they wanted as long as it was that color. She does not care what shoes they wear with it, or even the style of dress they chose; the only thing was the color of the dress. N and I both suggested she rethink that, or at least offer more guidelines as to the length of the dress and color of the shoes at a minimum. I offered that perhaps picking a dress with multiple options as far as necklines and sleeve lengths might be better than just saying “anything you want as long as it is this color” was a bit too broad. One girl might pick something overly fancy, another might go too short while the other 3 are wearing floor length. She does not need to be Bridezilla about it, but picking out a style of dress in the color/fabric she likes and then letting them pick from a pool of dresses seems more sensible to me.

I was concerned about overstepping my boundaries and sounding as if I were offering too much advice, but I believe she got that my opinion was simply a matter of concern about making it easier on everyone. Saying “black pumps or flats” is a lot different than saying that they need to rush out and buy an expensive pair of shoes they will only wear once.

There is still some family drama that will need to be sorted in the next 6 months before the invitations are mailed. I truly hope K’s extended family can come to terms that this is HER day and leave their shit at home, but she is grown up enough to recognize that leaving them off the guest list is a real option that she can live with. Our family is fine, as M and I get on very well with their dad’s side of the family.

All in all, the weekend was a complete blur. I went to the gym both days – Saturday was my longest day workout – and Sunday I went for my “rest” day of 1-set each exercise before meeting the kids. Then M and I did massive grocery shopping at multiple sites on Saturday, and Sunday we braved the mall, which was packed like it was already Black Friday. But at least I was able to set aside work and just focus on hanging out with M and then with my son and future daughter-in-law. Progress in my self-employment evolution.

3 thoughts on “Wedding and family stuff

  1. I agree on the dress length and basic style. DD ws in a wedding last year and where she and one of the girls went together to go dress shopping so they had longer dresses with cap sleeves, one girl had a sundress, one was wearing a strapless and another had a dress similar to my daughters but with longer sleeves. Plus no matter what there are several shades of peach because none of there dresses were the same color! So what should have looked put together looked instead like they were playing dress up. I understand her not wanting to pressure anyone but I think if she can pick a basic dress everyone will be fine with it. Oh weddings what fun

    1. It is and it isn’t – it’s not my wedding, so I’m removed from the front-line stress. However, it’s going to be something that impacts my son and by extension US, so it’s kind of a big deal. Thankfully I have another 10 months to prepare for it – mentally and emotionally!

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