Friend J sent me a text this morning with his version of an apology. He said “you know what I meant about the doddering old lady and weight machines comment. You’re too f**king young for that shit.” I knew what he meant when he said it, but I suspect his latest lady friend tore his head off when he told her about our conversation. As she should. His gym bias could potentially influence me and have negative impact on my psyche. Not f**king likely, but hey, it could happen.

I could also somehow miraculously stop reveling in his eating crow about trainer J’s ability to train/teach/coach me adequately. And pigs could be growing wings and flying any minute now.

(And the swearing, while it happens routinely inside my head and frequently in conversation with my nearest and dearest, it becomes really natural when I interact with friend J; he has a potty mouth of the highest order.)

I am merciless in needling friend J about my fitness efforts. While I count him as among my biggest cheerleaders in my better health quests, he was doubtful and suspicious about how much I might learn from such a young whippersnapper gym trainer (automatic strikes that trainer J understands and takes in stride). Granted the first few months were not that productive, but that was all about me and my gym crazy. Time has passed, I have learned and progressed, and friend J has come to appreciate my effort, or trainer J’s ability to hypnotize me into believing I like the gym and want to spend time there, and how much skill I have acquired no matter what strategy or hocus-pocus is being utilized in the process. More than that, he appreciates that I am learning the basics of how to move weights to and fro rather than just learning to use the big and glossy exercise machines and doing endless loops on cardio machines.

Endless loops on cardio machines I was doing fine with all on my own. As for the big weight machines, I actually learned a lot in yesterday’s training. Left to my own devices, I would have been doing so many things wrong in terms of form and weight attempted. Then again, left to my own devices I’d be on the couch with syringes of insulin and waiting to die.

It still makes me smile that he is typical in his awkward apology … of a sort. If he talked to all women the way he does to me I would be shocked if he ever went out on a first date, much less a second or third and on into relationships. But this is us, the way we are together. He told M that first time I introduced them that he was the younger I never wanted and am now stuck with. How true that has become. Makes me smile every time I think about it.

I have been reading books about diabetes, about various diets, carb counting, vegan and vegetarian eating, “curing” or reversing diabetes, etc., etc., etc. Some of them are good, many of them are crap, and many of them make RD cringe and tell me he is going to start censoring my reading. In truth it’s curiosity, things I find to talk to him or to J or even to TM. I am no more likely to start following a reversing diabetes strategy without thoroughly discussing it with RD than I am to undertake a 30 day squat or plank or some other type of exercise challenge without chatting about it with J. I happen to live in a world where people talk about their eating and exercise habits – some of whom think I am crazy to have hired my village of experts. To those folks, though, it’s as if I have entered some sort of cult and am being brainwashed into doing things I don’t really want to do. But seriously, I have yet to meet the person who says “oh goody! I get to do walking lunges today!” or “yummy! I get to eat dry kale and tuna fish for lunch and for dinner!” I do the walking lunges because they are on the List of the day and they do good things for the legs, even if I am far from crazy about them. RD knows better than to prescribe kale or tuna fish for me, unless he’s trying to get me to take up  fasting. I am a person who needs coaching, period. Besides, what is the point of a 30 day challenge, other than looking forward to day 31 when you can stop?

Days seems incomplete without exercise now, and I am happy about that adjustment in attitude in mindset. Healthier eating is evolving, too, and with RD’s help I will soon have a basic plan (eating Lists to match my exercise Lists) to guide me in that pursuit as well.

I am in well-controlled diabetes land right now through diet and exercise. I am willing to sacrifice my couch and a couple of hours of sweaty and gross daily to stay here and give up the routine carby delights I adore to stay here.

My bestie has returned after a few weeks of being completely off the reservation. Life is complicated, painful, and downright heartbreaking sometimes, but those are the times we need our friends to buoy us and keep things on something akin to an even keel in a the tsunami waves of tragedy.

Anyone who has ever worked in an office with a kitchen has probably dealt with the clean-up issue. Or maybe it’s just we admin-affiliated folks? All I know for sure is that in the entirety of my career in offices, if there was a kitchen, there was strife about cleaning up messes and washing of dishes.

This came up a couple of weeks ago with my receptionist. She has responsibility for offering refreshments to guests AND for washing the office coffee maker at the end of the day, running and emptying the dishwasher and wiping down the tables in the kitchen. Staff are responsible for their own dishes, i.e., rinsing and putting them into the dishwasher, and if there are any egregious explosions or messes in the microwave, toaster oven, refridgerator, or even on the counters, staff should and do clean up after themselves. However, receptionist came to me a couple of weeks ago complaining about kitchen duty being solely her responsibility; she felt it would be fairer if the staff had to take a turn cleaning up at the end of the day and emptying/washing the coffee maker, etc.

*sigh* I hate this discussion, because unless I give in to demands for kitchen duty diplomacy, there is pouting and discontent. But oh well. This is also why I am characterized as a manager.

I did the simple math of billing rates – even our paralegals are far more billable and profitable than our receptionist in terms of fees earned. When that failed to impress her – not everything is about money, she says – I explained that in a professional services firm, oh yes,  just about everything boils down to money. And while I am sorry she is unhappy that kitchen duty is part of her job description, she earns the same rate of pay washing out the coffee pot as she does all other assigned responsibilities.

Since that conversation I have been dealing with an inordinate amount of pouting the last couple of weeks, to the point that I have yet another employee coaching client on my hands. Hopefully this one turns out better than last time.

I am not Simon Legree, nor am I a my-way-or-the-highway sort of boss. However, I am rather pragmatic in that if you are assigned a task as part of your regular responsibilities, it is not something available for debate. Work environments are not necessarily a diplomacy where everyone gets a vote on their job description. I am finding it more and more difficult to understand the concepts of “deserve” in the workplace when it comes to job descriptions and assignments.

I fear I may be deteriorating into some crotchety old lady who lacks flexibility or understanding about employee needs. But then reality returns and I get that I have expectations of people doing their jobs with minimal whining about fairness and what they “deserve.” No matter how she tried to frame it, what she was saying is the cleaning up the kitchen is somehow beneath her. It was the worst possible approach she could have taken in bringing it up. Bitch-fest, I get it. Complaining, sure, it gets old washing out the coffee pot when you don’t even drink the stuff and wiping down the table every day when you do not eat in the kitchen. It is maybe 10 minutes out of your day, and you were told it was part of the job when you were hired; nothing has changed in the administrative ranks that will alter that balance. Deal with it.

Even that is a small cakes issue in the sum total of my little world. Summer is here and the pool is ready for swimming. I am still going strong with my exercise routine, and eating is still far from perfect but improving. Work is good, great even, and family, friends, tribe members near and far continue to push forward and to thrive.

Maybe happiness is truly a choice when life becomes boring or challenging in other ways. There is value in counting our blessings rather than worrying endlessly about our miseries, and the ability to recognize that we do have a choice in such matters tops my list of the positives in my present method of thinking. I feel very fortunate in that regard.

And now I am off to meet with TM and ponder this and the other first world problems plaguing me and my life right now.

Happy Monday everyone!




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s