After 26 months, my latest blow dryer had blown up and must be retired to the blow dryer graveyard. It was an experiment of sorts, in that at ~$120 it was the most expensive blow dryer I have ever purchased. Of course, when buying the cheaper models, I was buying 2 or 3 of them per year, and the last Target-purchased dryer nearly set my hair on fire when it died. For the sake of convenience and the quieter motor, I will likely invest in another nicer model. Maybe I will get another 2 years out of it.
So that was part of my kinda/sorta in-a-funk Tuesday. But I am not really in a funk, per se; I presently know enough people in various phases of funk to know that it’s not me.
However, I admit the hair dryer was the final push for a silent scream of frustration. Or not so silent string of f-bombs while standing there with a mess of hair that was half dry and a very scary sight. At least my only appointment today is lunch with a client, leaving me enough time to figure out something.
My funk-lite is primarily driven by a work slump. Typically I use that term when things are slow, but things are rarely slow for me, most definitely a blessing. But I’ve been working on a report for a self-employment client and am about 98% done with it, but I am unhappy with the status and conclusions. On paper, it looks fine, sounds like a reasonable opportunity, the analysis works in my client’s favor.
But I have taken an immediate dislike to the other principal party involved that has only gotten worse with time and our ongoing communications. My reaction when we met was immediate and intensely visceral, and I have absolutely no basis for disqualifying him except he inspires such a negative sense of ick he makes me want to throw up. Is that even a real business sense? Sorry, you make me want to vomit and I don’t know why, but I cannot recommend that my client proceed with this potentially profitable and mutually beneficial deal.
I need to be a lot more grown-up and business-like than that. But I feel how I feel, and if I remove my personal feelings from the equation, it makes good business sense. And really, I don’t need to like the guy, right? I looked at the information provided, I read the reports and financials, I crunched the numbers – everything adds up and legal has signed off.
So why does my stomach churn as I work on this report? It feels like a bad idea, and I have no rational reason for thinking or even feeling that way. Liking the guy as a person is irrelevant to the business at hand.
Ugh. I will finish this report and figure it out before we meet for lunch. That and my unruly mop of hair.
So that’s my slump. Which has kind of tinged the rest of my day with funk and a desire to separate from the slumpy feelings.
I feel sort of desperate to do or to change something, as if life is boring and I need to spice it up. Or as if everything is going far too well and I need to do something dramatic to ward off the evil spirits that could bring disaster. Yeah, I get how kooky that sounds. I know crazy-brain-lite is perking up and making mischief. I also know this happens on a fairly predictable cycle that almost coincides with the change of seasons and will blow over as mysteriously as it began.
The first thing that comes to mind – chopping off all my hair – is only partly because of the hair dryer mishap; even a shorter version of my current longer length requires a blow dryer. But I cannot do it right now. G is getting married in less than 3 months and I need to keep the length to give myself options for wedding hair.
Changing cars is always an option, but the financial nerd in my head says it makes absolutely no sense, particularly since I cannot get excited enough about different vehicle to even fancifully entertain the idea.
Then I started thinking about my exercise, and maybe I should switch my schedule … which I immediately rejected, because no way would I survive or be capable of maintaining any consistency with practice trying to get to the gym in the evenings. At least I am not eating or drinking my feelings; I seem to be mostly past that sort of destructive behavior. Instead I am blogging about my current level of crazy. Progress.
And the blog, and blogging … that deserves a post of its own.
Yep, as usual, me and my first world problems.