Suck it up, Buttercup

Some days I just want to send out this plaintive (and whiney!) “I don’t understand!” wail into the universe. Because I don’t get it. Here I am, doing good stuff for myself, and my body rebels and acts out. Ate chicken and broccoli last night for dinner – and we LOVE chicken and broccoli – and I have an overnight blood sugar crash. Not just a teensy one either that could be called borderline, but a 48 for goodness sakes (below 70 for me makes me take notice because of the intense sweating, but technically below 60 is a “real” crash). This is the first in at least a few months.

It frustrates me because I can see no rhyme or reason as to why it happened last night, versus some other night. Yes, I am tightening up my eating, but not anything crazy or extreme, and definitely nothing I can discern that I did yesterday that would send body into such a tailspin. I am very irritated with body this morning for disrupting my sleep and making for a crappy leg day practice this morning. Whereas I typically enjoy leg days, it was a slow slog through 3 sets and I am still dissatisfied with my performance. Bad days happen, and I get that, but I do not have to like it much if at all.

With my newest village advisor for diet and such we just began the food tracking process, and anyone reading this knows how much I just love (note the heavy sarcasm) food tracking. But I’m doing it, because it is part of the process and does give me and my new eating expert a clear idea of where I am zigging when I should be zagging on the protein and carbs. There was nothing particularly unusual about my eating yesterday, and having to be up at midnight eating a protein-laced granola bar (versus slamming a can of juice) tends to throw off today’s eating plan before it even begins. Not to mention what it does for sleep. When my alarm went off at 3:45 I felt like I had just fallen asleep.

Yep, today’s post if partly a little pity party. But when I vented all this to friend J (who make the mistake of casually inquiring about practice), it gave him the perfect opportunity to tell me to suck it up and deal. The title of this post is his favorite saying to kick me in the ass when required. (Restraining myself from calling him a name that brings into question the validity of his parents’ marriage when he was born.)

So yeah, my day did not get off to the productive start I have become accustomed to having. I do not feel terrible now, but I want a leg day do-over so I can feel better about things. Naturally, even I know I will get over it, but I’m feeling pouty and grumbly right now. Negative girl is trying to suggest I am “never” happy, which is far too broad a generalization and most definitely untrue. My present level of aggravation is partly just weenie-whining because I am feeling very put out and partly me plotting strategy for the consequences of body’s rebellion. Maybe later, after I am done with clients and work-work for today, maybe I shall square my shoulders and march body back to the gym for a rare evening practice and do a quick “kale for legs” series to make myself feel better about the day. Or not. It’s still early, the workday is just beginning, and I may feel differently about how strongly I desire to have a good leg day practice after working all day long.

Yes, I am obviously addicted, obsessive, and quite possibly neurotic about exercise and my practices. A saving grace is there are a lot worse addictions, obsessions, and neurosis to endure. And if you knew how much I typically dread the kale for legs series (30 reps of leg press, walking lunges, sumo squats, hamstring curls on the instability ball), you would know how truly infected I have become. But oh well. Maybe work-work will drain brain’s battery and I will forget all about body’s rebellion and poor performance this morning.

But I doubt it. Brain has become quite sharp about keeping track of these things, probably a symptom of its exercise addiction in action. Again, oh well. I am unlikely to overcome it anytime soon. And that, dear friends, does make me happy and feel marginally better about today’s rocky start.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

2 thoughts on “Suck it up, Buttercup

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