Monday morning, training with J. Not my be outing. Not my best performance. Not my best session ever.

Nausea is a terrible thing. Since I am rarely sick anymore – other than the sinus sweat that seems to happen when I exercise – every little “off” tends to be dissected and examined as a potential something. Today I had a terrible nightmare where it was 10:30 a.m. when I woke up and I had missed, completely missed, my 6 a.m. training appointment. I called J to explain and apologize, and he did not even sound like himself or act as if we even had an appointment. Panic was building when I woke up at 3:10 in a panic thinking the dream was real, only to look at my phone that it was way early. The dark outside should have been a clue that the sun was not up yet, but hey, I was disoriented from the nightmare.

I had mild stomach ache, but went back to sleep, for 45 minutes, so obviously nothing life-altering or sleep-depriving. When the alarm went off, I felt a little nauseated. Which for me typically passes with my preworkout protein shake food. Not today. But I figured it was not that bad, I could power through.

For the most part I did. Until it got worse. *sad face* I had to confess to J that I felt nauseated. I hate confessing to J on the rare occasions that I do not feel well. Because it makes me feel like a slacker and a quitter on our List. J has forbidden me from speaking in those terms on the recap, so I am only bringing it up to state clearly that negative girl threw her dark dust and the thoughts clearly went through my head and out my mouth in verbal form, loud enough, directly enough, for J to tell me to banish the thoughts. He did say I could, and probably should, report his admonishment in the recap. Duly noted, boss, duly noted.

It was leg day. What we did:

Full squats (30 lb. dumbbells, 3 sets, 12-15)
Lower body inchworm (2 sets, 5-10)

Squat jumps (2 sets, 15-25)
Step ups (single leg ) (2 sets, 15-20/side)
Bulgarians (2 sets, 15-20/side)
Alternating lateral lunges with reach (10 lb. dumbbells, 2 sets, 15-20/side)

Stiff legged dumbbell deadlifts (20 lb. dumbbells, 2 sets, 15-20)
Stability ball leg curls (2 sets, 15-20)
Curtsey lunges with floor touch (2 sets, 15 to 20)
1-legged glute bridges (2 sets, 15 to 20)

1-legged dumbbell asymmetrical split squat (10 lb. dumbbell, 1 set, 15-20/side)
Kettle bell sumo squat (lavender one 45 lbs.(?), 20-25, 1 set)
Anterior reaches (1 set, 15-20/side)
Mini band swinging hip abductions (1 set, 20/side)

I am a bit disappointed that my energy just fell out on the fourth quad grouping and I did not make minimums on everything. While I am trying to muster an oh well about it, truth is I felt kind of crappy and wanted to drink a gallon of water and/or put my head down until the nausea passed. I didn’t want to excuse myself to throw up; I hate vomiting. Plus I was so hot. Usually I’m working hard and I can feel the difference between working hard sweating and blood sugar plummeting sweating. Today I wasn’t sure with the nausea distracting me. It wasn’t bad when I got home – about 73 still. I hate feeling as if I am giving up too soon, but my time with J is limited to an hour and I already felt a bit like I had been pushing the envelope with breaks and rest pauses. Not a bad session, because other than feeling a little sick, I was very much engaged and focused on the work. I thought sure I would power through it. Sometimes you’re the windshield, sometimes you’re the bug; today I was the bug.

But after sipping diet ginger ale before noon and feeling mostly better, then eating a salad for lunch and feeling mostly normal, and then suddenly feeling nauseated and stomach surging into full-on rebellion, something not good going on in my system.

Food poisoning in slo-mo? No idea. Could be any combination of things, none of which have to do with exercise. Unless it was taking the day off yesterday? I feel fine, normal now and am going to take it easy with some simple soup tonight. I really must get back to my List of the day tomorrow and want no more surprises.

I actually have the love-hate with this List. Love it because it really feels good to immerse myself and get into it. Hate it because it’s freaking HARD. Especially when we are counting, counting, counting reps. When fatigue starts hitting I am easily distracted from rep counts and they get short. J is working with me on that, and I am trying to get my gazelle-intense focus going on when practicing on my own. Whatever the next plateau is in my gym practice, I feel sure I want or need to master the whole rep counting process before I can scale that height. And I will.

Full squats are familiar and working hard on improving my form. With this series of Lists we do higher reps and lighter weights, which completely turns me on my head from the other series. Plus I have to remember that I am working on improving my form with the lighter dumbbells. It’s mildly confusing. But I will get myself pulled together and wrapped around this series. The time away blew a big giant hole in my consistency.

We started the lower body inchworms as a burpee alternative for pilates, because I have severe burpee aversion. But since I blew off pilates yesterday, it feels like my inchworms were lacking. Like just about everything on this List, I need more work on these Lists.

The squat jumps – I can improve. The nice things about doing these recaps is I think back clearly to going through the List and doing the exercise and can see where I need to get a little deeper.

For a kind of a sucky day of trading, I am pretty proud of my performance with the step ups. Maybe it’s climbing the bleachers last week that made them seem more efficient today, but I did better. There were rest pauses. There were thought pauses, too, because J and I were chatting with encouraging tales.

I went through the Bulgarians with a few sideways topples and repositioning set-ups.

Why oh why do I have such a dislike of alternating lateral lunges? Actually, why do I dislike lateral lunges? They do not feel normal to me. I go along. I work

I always like stiff legged dumbbell deadlifts. Actually, I kind of like most types of deadlifts we have done thus far.

Next came the stability ball leg curls. Again, rest pauses and room for improvement. I did not exactly feel like my concentration was completely off, but I can tell when I am off. I was off. Hips were not high enough, legs were not pulling in quite enough to maximize the contraction.

Curtsey lunges, the icepicks in the ass exercise, are sometimes a satisfying favorite and sometimes hated beyond all reason. The reach part is easy to forget when I am not feeling it, and today my distraction was such that I had to work at it.

We tried a older variation of the 1-legged glute bridge with the shoulders/arms elevated on the bench. The bench was just high enough that it made my arm and shoulder ache, so we went back to lying flat on the mat.

By the time we got to 1-legged dumbbell asymmetrical split squats, I was very fatigued and feeling the nausea. I made minimum sets with a series of resetting form adjustments. I can do these. I know these. But like the rest of this series of quadplexes, I struggled mightily.

Sumo squats were among the first exercises I learned how to perform. Usually I’m tired by the time we get here, but I kind of look forward to these because they do not regularly appear on Lists and I can typically do them competently. Not today. I think I barely made 10 or 11 before I set the kettle bell down and threw in the towel. This was also the part where J told me I was not allowed to speak as if I am a quitter or a loser or anything else, although I am allowed to say the he said I was not allowed to say it. So I’m not.

While I typically love anterior reaches, today they were like final steps on a long, long fatigue march. Usually we do these reaching across toward the planted foot, but today j said to use same side arm reaching toward same side foot. It feels different.

We finished up with the mini band swinging hip abductions. I love my mini bands. I used my set a lot while away on vacation. If I was feeling them in the glutes and legs it will be apparent tomorrow. But for today, I was just happy they were the final exercise on today’s List.

On a good day, I can get through 4 sets of these and wobble out of the gym on legs that feel like overcooked pasta. Plus lots and lots of calories burned. Wednesday is my next go-round with this, and I fully anticipate a much better showing on my part.

A good friend has been seriously ill, now slowly on the mend. He infuriates me regularly, but this was different. He is on the slow road to recovery and mostly I am relieved. So trainer J and I covered a lot of conversational ground about him and how I will crush him in the gym in December when he returns home. It is my new incentive to get to the gym and work very hard at my List of the day.

Plus I do sense a “next level” out there for me with regard to the rep counts. Tomorrow I have the option for extra time in the gym, so I may tack on a 30 minute cardio List session after whatever the List of the day becomes. We shall see how well my energy works out.

I did talk to J about my own list of thoughts and such, particularly the yoga. Because he’s my gatekeeper, and I don’t want to be a client that does not listen to him or has her head turned by the next big fitness thing. My friend GS is very deeply involved in yoga, a practice he pursues at least 6 days per week. I have felt the benefits of a single class per week along with my pilates, but I feel as if I could gain more with some additional stretching/yoga sessions. So tomorrow afternoon I’m taking my first gentle yoga – which I suspect will be others in my age range – and Wednesday night is a regular restorative class. Thursday night I am going to try a different 60 minute hot yoga class.

More stretching can only benefit me. And maybe this will prove to be too much time, but it will be a good experiment to undertake. My friend GS has been lobbying hard for me to do more, suggesting the 3 days of gym training/practice was adequate. But I’m a special snowflake; I need more. So nope, not giving up my morning workout time, but smoothing my schedule to fit in a little more yoga with J’s blessing.

Even after more than a year, I like to ensure I am not turning into “that client” that does offensive things. Me, the goal-less client, prioritizes our training partnership and look forward to my practice time. With the yoga classes, I understand how individual the practice is and how difficult it is to overcome my anxiety and make myself go. But it’s in my calendar and my phone now, which practically guarantees I will attend during the week.

Despite feeling a bit unsettled by the specter of illness, today was a fantastic day. Training, while imperfect, was a good experience. And I didn’t vomit, so always a plus. Mostly, though, it’s the learning, always learning. Looking forward now to Wednesday’s leg day again, but tomorrow I think will be day 3 … which I think is back and triceps. I am skipping day 2 because I expect may be on Thursday’s agenda. All very good.

Meal planning is essentially to stay away from shell fish for awhile and asian takeout for awhile. Working on a short-fuse deadline means a fair amount of junk food, though, so I will just bring a sandwich or something from home next time. Work is busy, hectic, crazy, yet I am working from home and on m private client work tomorrow. I am enjoying and looking forward to continuing to get back to normal routines.

I love, Love, LOVE training days. Even when my village needs to emotionally hold my hand and talk me back and away from the edge of the bridge whereby I do not stay upset and distracted because of a family squabble. The exercise helps so much with my general unevenness. It does more for me than yoga ever has, although I believe the yoga can and will enhance my gym work.

It was a happy Monday.

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