Today was not a terrible or even a bad day. However, it was a day with a series of events that distract and irritate me.
On the way to the gym, my pony tail stretchy band breaks. This is not an unusual occurrence, so I always have a spare in my gym bag. When I get to the gym and trying to install a replacement pony holder, it too breaks. What are the odds? I go forth and practice sans pony tail, hair flipping and flopping all over the place, and the world continued to spin on its axis.
Then about a third of the way through practice, my headset starts acting up. Usually just turning the phone off and on resets everything, so I tried that first. And then my headset (it’s bluetooth) would not pair. I need to continue with practice, though, so I toss it into the bag with my phone and get back to it sans tunes. The sun continues to shine and the sky is still anchored in place overhead.
I did delete and repair and had music for the sets in the final quadplex.
Today is my work-from-home day, for self-employment work. I had no appointments until 4 today, and even that was for a yoga class. Phone calls I can do in yoga pants or even sweaty and gross, so I was able to sleep an extra hour (unintentionally) and still get my full List of the day concluded.
I’m all set to rock and roll … and the power goes out at home.
No problem, I think; my laptops are fully charged. Except with no power, I have no internet. But I have a phone. I can hotspot. Or the power and internet will return.
The power comes back after about 10 minutes. The internet is still down as I am typing this post. I have hot spotted off and on all day long, but it’s not quite as peppy as my regular wireless.
So I did not get much work done. I had telephone calls scheduled, and I did those from my car. And while getting a pedicure. And while waiting at Starbucks to meet a friend for coffee.
Then … THEN … I had a yoga class scheduled at 4 p.m. I left my house at 3:30 for a 12 to 15 minute drive, only today it was more like 29 minutes. By my watch I was at the LOCKED studio at 3:59. Yep, studio front door was locked and my yoga class was already in session. There was much swearing and foot stomping frustration going on at this development.
Now I have to wait another week to try this class.
This whole day has been one issue after another. I almost – ALMOST – feel like going back to the gym and working off my irritation. Stuff happens, I know. But must it freaking happen all on one day?
I’m finishing up today’s work-work and am feeling thankful I stayed up later last night doing some more critical things that got pushed back from the weekend, hence the late sleep today. Tonight I’m going to bed on time and will be up and at the gym early to tackle my List of the day.
I’m also feeling really, really frustrated about the yoga class.
It seems silly – M made the huge misstep of coming right out and saying it was silly – to be this upset. In M’s defense, because I am fair and balanced that way, he stated that it was somehow their fault for sticking to their policies of locking the door when class began. While my watch said 3:59, theirs obviously said 4 p.m.
My upset is not just disappointment at missing a class that felt like an important step somewhere new. I have placed some unknown amount of pressure upon myself to somehow do better. Yes, I really want to do more stretching, get more yoga. But this … implosion … is really off the scale.
September has been a great month, but the distractions continue. Yesterday it was the nausea/sickness thing. Today it’s power and internet disruptions, not being early enough for the yoga class. Taken alone these are inconveniences and irritations. Taking in the broader context of a September of distraction, they leave me feeling awful and terrible … about me. See you peeking and blowing smoke through the crack in your cell, negative girl.
We have done this dance throughout the last year, and I’m winning. Every time I feel her negative breath in my head, I remind myself I’m winning our ongoing battle.
Tomorrow is leg day again, running through Monday’s training List once more. I am trying to not be either intimidated or overconfident. I want to just be … be with the List. *smile*
September distraction continues, and it seems to be carting off my rational mind with it.
My own little business has been humming along, and I have several projects coming up for renewal this year. Except … I am really thinking that I need to cut loose of the majority of these small jobs. I have enjoyed the work and the clients involved. However, at the time we began my life and the way I anticipated work to evolve was very different. This work represents about 40 hours per month and a few grand in revenue. Except I have been subcontracting about 80% of it out to other friends and reviewing the end product. Part of me thinks this is the way I should be working – subbing the actual work – another part of me believes I do not want to continue this way.
I have been thinking about it. I suppose no decisions or decisive action needed to be implemented today. But soon.
Occasionally I have my own woo woo moments that make me crazy. Like today, I start questioning my overall karma relative to the many little frustrating events of today. Have I been ungrateful, disingenuous, not nice, lazy, slacking? Mean? Have I been too hard on friend J and this is the universe providing bitch-slapping payback?
Practical, rational me says I am being ridiculous. The part of me that feels stressed and disappointed – I recognize the heavy hand of negative girl is at work here.
Wedding, vacation, socializing, work craziness, friend J’s sudden, very serious illness – September has been distraction-palooza. I’m shaving sleep again. Except, not tonight. Tonight I get to bed on time. Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start with Monday’s List and an opportunity to get through it in a manner that completely satisfies my Type A-/B+ personality.
The shock of friend J’s illness, initial steps of his recovery, and my supreme fear of the Very Bad Things potential – it hit me pretty hard. We are good, mostly back to normal. I’m still concerned, but gaining the upper hand on my emotions and unease.
This feels like a wasted day, because work was not as productive as typical and yoga didn’t happen. On the other hand, I went through 3 sets of my List of the day this morning in a 98% satisfactory manner – tricep dips are hard, and overhead flyes? What the Hell are overhead flyes? Brain was wracked and nothing came to mind. I substituted some kind of lateral raise. I got a pedicure. I had coffee with a friend I haven’t seen in a few months. Friend J is smirking in email.
The universe is a balanced place. Maybe there’s a lesson there for me.