This morning I logged in to my regular use credit card and found 11 charges for the same online site. Yep, I’ve ordered from them in the past, but waaayyy past, like 3 years ago. Suddenly a few days ago they are emailing me again, after I had unsubscribed many moons ago, and I just though of it as some spam thing, so I unsubscribed again. Only to find 11 charges to my account totaling nearly $1000.

Charges reported as fraud, card cancelled, replacement on the way. But it reminded me why I need to cancel several unused credit cards; exposure to fraud is a real thing. And seriously, I use 2 different cards for the rewards, M has 2 others, the rest are locked up in the safe. Or they were, until I systematically called, cancelled, and shredded them.

Another to-do of my endless list.

I also had to actually write a check today as well. That was different. It’s been forever since I have had to write a check for services. My esthetician texted me this morning that her credit card machine is kaput and she is currently only able to accept checks or cash. She’s smart to text me in advance, because I never carry checks and rarely have more the $40 in my wallet.

I was an hour later than usual arriving at the gym this morning, which is unlike me, even on Tuesdays when I work from home on my own business clients and stuff. Part of it was staying up until well after midnight working on work-work, part of it was an early conference call that ran longer than usual. Having clients that travel, I find myself frequently talking business on Tuesdays at 4 in the morning.

What I realize, though, is that I can arrive an hour late to the gym and the sky remains firmly in place and nothing bad befell me for the rest of my day. The rest of my work-related calendar did not start until about 10, which is pretty typical, and even that is by phone and I could do the work from my perch of sweaty grossness without anyone else knowing. It is not a big deal, either way, but a bit of a surprise for me that I can vary my schedule on gym practice schedule on Tuesdays without consequence. Still, my habits help me maintain some my discipline. Like most everything related to work these days, I need to stay flexible with scheduling.

I finished invoicing earlier today, and I’m pleased to be finishing off my retirement plan contributions this month rather than next. Holidays are going to be pretty low-key around here, with the big move coming in January and my strong feeling that monetary gifts will be appreciated by the kids this year. Makes perfect sense to me, and relieves me of shopping. My recent quest for replacement yoga pants and shirts was more than enough. I have come to despise shopping.

Which makes me wonder – if I did not have a budgeted amount set aside for clothing and shoes and such, would the urge to go out and shop and spend money be more powerful? Since I am pretty well prepared, I find the thrill of shopping and spending money no longer rages within. Or maybe it’s just that I am so busy, with a long list of things I would like to do when I prioritize them in my time allotment. I am listening to podcasts while I practice, and I am carving out at least 30 minutes each evening to simply read for fun. There are a few online courses I would like to take, and goodness knows my blog could use a little more of my time and attention.

The idea of spending time in a mall or even more time paging through endless screens in search of something to spend money on – even worse time suck than social media.

Spending time with friends, making plans and looking forward to getting together, only to have it evaporate at the last possible moment is extremely frustrating to me. I don’t know what to do about it, though. A few of them have been this way pretty much forever, and I am jaded to the point of believing it when it actually happens. Others, though, have family issues cropping up and are in need of and deserving of understanding and support. We all seem to be of an age when our parents are slowing down, faltering, needing more consistent and constant medical care, or passing away. And it’s very difficult. Having been there myself, I am very sympathetic.

It makes me recognize the need to step back up and into the office with TM. I feel like my pragmatism is almost a fault right now, and that perhaps I could soften or be more understanding of their situations and circumstances. Am I so very busy that I cannot spend 20 or 30 minutes listening more sympathetically? I feel like I am hardening into a very unpleasant sort of person who is impatient and unable to cope with the hand-wringing angst that comes with all the stuff that happens as our lives and responsibilities toward others weighs more heavily.

Next week M and I have an appointment with our own attorney to update our wills and trust documents in light of the kids’ marriages this year. Not a lot is changing, just some minor tweaks, but it’s really important to me that we sit down with the kids and let them know now what are plans are for what comes later. I had a really, really hard time dealing with my mom’s stuff after her passing, and as much as possible I want both my kids to understand what we are thinking and where the documents are kept.

Is this morbid and uncomfortable? I suppose so, but as I told them last we had this conversation, they will thank me for it later on, hopefully a lot later on. I’d much rather have 30 minutes to an hour of discomfort of imagining the world without us in it than they be scrambling to figure things out on the fly when the time comes.

I suppose being a parent who can talk to her kids about death, dying, and where we bank and the documents for our accounts, our online banking information, etc. is kept in the safe. My hope is that we have a good long time and lot more such conversations in our future, but if I get run over by a bus tomorrow, they will know where things are kept and the way things stand right now.

I was just thinking earlier that I am just another imperfect parent, but I do try to think ahead and whatever practical stuff I can do in the here and now to make it easier down the line.

Now if I can just get through decluttering my house so I can roll up my sleeves and get to work on the garage and our storage unit. My to-do list seems infinite right now. But that’s okay. I have plenty of time.

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