Fatigue

Fatigue has been a recurring theme in my life of late. By unintentional design, character flaw (inability to say no when necessary), and frequently by choice, I have become overwhelmed and overloaded with work. The inability, or more accurate: stubborn unwillingness, to admit there is a problem and that I am not superwoman who can function optimally on less than 30 hours of sleep per week exacerbates the issues. Until I am finally staring down the barrel of complete chaos and falling apart dysfunctionality.

My saving grace is astute bosses and coworkers at my full-time job and a solid core of good people for clients in my self employment business as well. M has been watching from the sidelines, helping out where he can and only offering the mildest of suggestions when my whining gets to be too much or my fatigue too obvious to ignore. Things are changing, improving. Finally I am taking some steps to care for myself a little more practically.

At my full-time job, I have promoted my receptionist and am training him to assist me directly on many of my day-to-day routine tasks that are appropriate for him. The job I hired into is very far removed from the job I have grown this position into, and it is appropriate that this very capable young man take on more responsibility. Just a week into the new arrangement and I can already feel the relief of not stressing about small details and dealing with vendors and office-related matters that he is capable and delighted to manage.

We are hiring a new receptionist to assume more of those responsibilities, and I am do using my former assistant to help me with the screening and interviewing and recruiting process. It’s good training for both of us, in that I get to assess his judgment as far as hiring and training skills. His insights and screening methodology has been curious to me and not only reflects the differences in our experience but also our personalities and tolerances. Ultimately the decision on who we hire is mine to make, but I appreciate honest feedback, because he will be training and working closely with this person as well and his opinions matter.

Those changes have made me a far happier happy camper at the office. I am always so awed and so grateful to have a close and supportive work environment. My bosses are rock stars when it comes to ensuring the firm runs efficiently and staff have the tools and resources they need to do their jobs.

With my private clients and self-employment pursuits, I raised rates and dropped a few of my more demanding clients. It just gotten to be too much to try and meet their needs and short timeframes when I am working primarily after regular business hours and on weekends. I was succeeding, but the drama trauma reached the point of no longer worth the fees I was earning. I am relieved to be free of those hours, frankly, and it opens up time to thoughtfully evaluate the needs of the rest of my client stable to see how I can be more effective for them.

I already feel lighter knowing June will be less demanding and have more room to contemplate what I actually want to do versus what is lying on the table and has to be done. In certain circumstances having more choices is better.

Next on my agenda is examining and overhauling our budget. Nothing freakishly scary going on with that, but when I’m so stressed in other areas my mindless online shopping tends to take over and become a problem. Not just from a spending standpoint, although it is a consideration as well, but from a mere consumption standpoint it impacts me greatly. The volume of stuff in my closets and drawers – this is why the decluttering process is a lifetime appointment apparently. M is more nickle-and-dime little pieces and parts of pointless crap all over the garage as well as creeping into the house, but for me it’s shoes, clothes, accessories. Unless I suddenly gained or dropped 20+ pounds, I have plenty of clothes, shoes, etc. to last a good long while. Especially gym clothes – OMG, how many pairs of black capris do I really believe that I need to own?

Other than all that, I’m marching forward with a plan to get back to regular sleep patterns so I am getting adequate rest. It’s an ongoing concern of mine, because it is one of the first boundaries to fall when I am busy and distracted with the rest of my life.

For now, it’s memorial day weekend, an extra day off to be outside and get a few more at-home tasks crossed off my list.

Happy weekending everyone!

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