Coping with past histories

M and I have been married nearly 20 years, together for more than 25. A long shared history. However, we both had lives, friendships, relationships before we became a couple. Like everyone else. Not so stark difference with us is that vast majority of my friends pre-M have become part of the fabric of our…

Right where I need to be

Blogging. It seems the process takes on life of its own. There is so much to write about, yet so little of any substance. Or so goes my judgment and justification for why I'm not getting more posts written and published. I have been pondering blogging a fair amount in the month of September. Not…

Revisiting days gone by

For another blogging project, I have been revisiting old posts from 2015 and 2016. It's something I rarely do, and now after having done so, I wonder why I don't more often. Well, there's the typos and wrong word choices and maybe I could have stated something better, but with my stream-of-consciousness blogging style I…

Tides

Emotionally, feeling the bounce toward my typical push-pull life balance. Gaining perspective doesn't happen in a vacuum with all my sadness and grief under lockdown. Unfortunately grief is a process and there are no shortcuts. Tuesday mornings I have a standing 5:30 conference call with an east coast client. It is typically an energetic phone…

Relationships matter

After a day of couch surfing, crying, feeling sorry for myself, I finally picked myself up and got annoyed enough with something else. So I got started deep cleaning my shower, which led to decluttering the countertop in the master bathroom. And more crying. One of our final interactions we were looking at apartments for…

Malaise

It's been 2 weeks since my close friend J died. During that time I have primarily carried on as normal, albeit with more crying and feelings of sadness and grief. But work has continued, my exercise and better health quest carries on, the immediate paperwork and document filing associated with someone's passing have been handled.…