Haunted

Blog tinkering continues, but apparently I will have some warning before I need to stop updating the blog. This is a good thing. I find myself having the compulsion to write now that the blog seemed temporarily off-limits. The headlines of late are all about the sexual misconduct and predatory practices of powerful, influential men…

Better choices today

Immediately after bleeding my angry rage post yesterday, I was off for a visit with TM (my therapist, for newer readers unaware of my tribe of experts). Even in the midst of my own crazy, I understand when the walls have closed and boxed me in and how I need help getting out of a…

Fear, anxiety, friendship

One of my very best friends is in the process of long-term recuperation and rehabilitation from a very serious illness. His return to health has been an arduous journey and is not over yet, but he has been improving and all our hopes are for a full and complete recovery. Along with that, though, we…

Communication follow-up and life imbalance

I had lunch today with my client who allowed his anger to overwhelm his common sense (posted here). Once the anger and frustration faded, he recognized the error of his ways and reached out to apologize. While I accepted it on the phone and in text, I did state we needed to have another conversation about…

The fear box

Everyone has fears - big ones, little ones, epic phobic ones. It is my conclusion that my ability to cope and manage my fears determines the quality of my day-to-day life. And if it were only so simple as to decide to set them aside and not allow them to influence, direct, or drive my…

Analyzing my emotions

I had a couple of nice conversations with my primary private clients today, and it was nice. The longest of these relationships was actually who referred me to my present firm and he knows my bosses quite well. While we were talking about the work I do for him and his firm and working out…

Mercurial me

I had my next rebuild me, make me emotionally better, stronger, faster therapy appointment Thursday, rescheduled from my crazy Tuesday to my equally crazy busy Thursday. Therapy does not frighten or make me particularly anxious; I have been through far worse through the years. Mostly I find myself curious and challenged, my not-so-secret doubts about…

Training Monday, anxiety, perception

It's Monday, so it's training session day with J. Yesterday I had gone through the entirety of the last three routines J had prepared for me - one set of each exercise - and finally concluded that I can competently execute these movements, some better than others. The two that still give me trouble are…

Emotional functionality

I am having a bit of a "why" weekend. Why does my hair seem to fall out more profusely as it grows longer. Why does the neighbor dog have her parents visiting and barking outside much of the night. Why did I have to unfriend a real life friend in reality. The hair - I probably…