Relationships matter

After a day of couch surfing, crying, feeling sorry for myself, I finally picked myself up and got annoyed enough with something else. So I got started deep cleaning my shower, which led to decluttering the countertop in the master bathroom. And more crying. One of our final interactions we were looking at apartments for…

Hopeful realism

After starting this post during lunch and scanning it quickly just now, I recognize that shock of sudden death is starting to fade and I am in full-on processing mode, albeit the scenic route. I live a small life. It's not big, not flashy, not glamorous. But in the ways that are important to me,…

The Sally Field conundrum

Remember back in 1985 and Sally Field's "you like me!" acceptance speech? Every time I or anyone else uses that phrasing, I think about that speech. I do not watch award shows, but I do tend to read about them after the fact. And now that nearly every pop culture moment is available online somewhere,…

Closing doors, opening windows, emptying spaces

Last night I received a nice email from a former friend. It was an apology for things that have disrupted and eventually ended our long friendship. I read it last night, again this morning, and am now organizing my thoughts here before composing my reply. I had the pleasure and privilege of lunching with trainer J and…

Good friend almost too good for me

My friend J is in Zurich and on the road to recovery from a very serious, life-threatening illness. The toll of this illness on him has impacted more than just his physical health. In the couple of months that have passed since this all happened I have watched his easy-going confidence and trademark happy-go-lucky personality…

Influence

How much influence do others in our lives hold over us? How much influence do we hold over others? And where is the tipping point where trying to influence or persuade becomes trying to control or manipulate? Or are these different things that come from different motivations right out of the box? What to do…

Expressing myself in the right spirit

Many, many years ago someone told me that "anything expressed in the right spirit could never be considered offensive." I remember being charmed by the thought, while in my mind considering how naive and blank check that was for anyone and everyone to put forth their own offensive or ignorant on the unsuspecting community at…

Relationship oxygen masks and safety briefings

In the preflight safety briefing, there is always the admonishment to "put on your own oxygen mask first before assisting others around you with theirs." It has become the metaphor for living my life, taking care of myself first before trying to help others. The past month have brought forth bunches of examples of why this…

My woodwork was well populated

I spent a good portion of yesterday and today chatting via email and text with a friend who suddenly reappeared on my horizon. After a 2+ year absence without explanation, GS suddenly sent me an out-of-the-blue email to say hi and reestablish contact. I was very surprised and very happy to hear from him, albeit somewhat…