Tides

Emotionally, feeling the bounce toward my typical push-pull life balance. Gaining perspective doesn't happen in a vacuum with all my sadness and grief under lockdown. Unfortunately grief is a process and there are no shortcuts. Tuesday mornings I have a standing 5:30 conference call with an east coast client. It is typically an energetic phone…

Malaise

It's been 2 weeks since my close friend J died. During that time I have primarily carried on as normal, albeit with more crying and feelings of sadness and grief. But work has continued, my exercise and better health quest carries on, the immediate paperwork and document filing associated with someone's passing have been handled.…

Hopeful realism

After starting this post during lunch and scanning it quickly just now, I recognize that shock of sudden death is starting to fade and I am in full-on processing mode, albeit the scenic route. I live a small life. It's not big, not flashy, not glamorous. But in the ways that are important to me,…

Gone KonMari crazy with a little weep

For about the last 18 months, I have been on a mission to declutter. I mean, it seems like I am always decluttering my closet (that infinite space that reproduces even more crap the minute I close the doors). But I'm more serious this time. I'm even openly attacking Mark's clothes, albeit rarely worn dress…

The thing about life … and death

I lost a friend Sunday, probably my very closest and best friend. While he had been seriously sick and recovering for the better part of a year, he was improving. He was able to travel and come home. We had 5 glorious days of talking, laughing, arguing like siblings, just being. While there is no…

In with new, out with something else

It seems I am about to get a different car yet again. First and foremost, M and I are not frugalistas; we have zillions of ways to waste money and probably do so routinely without giving it a second thought. However, we are also very responsible with money. Big things like savings for retirement, HSA-funding,…

Car stuff, weekend random

First and foremost, thanks so much for all the kindness and support from my last post. While there are still several days left in March, my personal March madness has quietly concluded. Never do I underestimate the intensity of emotions that surround anniversaries. M has an older car with nearly 200K on the odometer. He loves…

Parenting is hard

It's St. Patrick's day. In 1984, my oldest child was born. I remember checking into the hospital and the nurse saying I would be having a  St. Patrick's day baby and in honor of that, they would be tattooing a shamrock on the baby's butt. Whether my serious expression was primarily fear of this whole…