Sleepwalking on the darker side

The past week has been rough on me with sleep. It is an unusual occurrence, because I rarely have issues falling asleep or staying asleep. Disruptions happen, though, and some are even depressingly predictable. Like when the trees in my neighborhood start blooming and I am popping allergy medications every 4 to 6 hours. Sudafed,…

A case of the sads

Something happened at the office today that is a rare, rare occurrence: I cried. Not just a little eye leakage, the big, wracking, ugly sobs of grief and loss. The sads of December arrived early this year. Sunday marks a year since my dear friend James died. While I have missed him this past year,…

Grief and boundaries

Fridays are becoming free-for-alls for me here on the blog. Of course, it sort of fits with my no-theme theme and methodology of blogging. Today is inspired by both by current events in my life and things I have crossed paths with while wandering around and reading random stuff. My friend J has been quite…

Glue

My friend G's father passed away late last night after fighting the good fight with cancer for more than 10 years. No matter how expected the death, it is still a bit of a shock when it finally happens. Friend G's "pops" he has known and loved his whole live - G said his  heart stopped beating…

This day in history

Today marks 20 years since my oldest officially left us, declared legally brain dead after brain bleed. It was amongst the most anguishing 24 hours of my entire life thus far, and unforgettable because it is so much part of who she was to me and to us. I remember the day she was born,…

Feeling our feelings

I am catching up on Supernatural episodes on Netflix while doing cardio tonight and there was a line of dialog about "feeling our feelings." It stuck with me. It has been a very good day. Training this morning went really well, even if I am mildly obsessed with discovering shrug-able occasions I do hundreds of…

Sunday ponderings

My weekend project is now concluded, written, wrapped up and ready for delivery. I feel good about it, although that will not stop me from obsessively rereading and checking my figures and conclusions in the morning. I have been in an almost obnoxiously cheerful, happy place of late and it is a very good thing.…

“Hey girlie” no more and looking forward

Christmas week was tumultuous, the unexpected loss of my very dear old friend the Saturday before left me feeling shattered with grief and more fragile than I ever care to admit. My world is a smaller place without him in it anymore, and as much as anything I mourn our silly, intermittent communications throughout the year. Hard…