Coping with past histories

M and I have been married nearly 20 years, together for more than 25. A long shared history. However, we both had lives, friendships, relationships before we became a couple. Like everyone else. Not so stark difference with us is that vast majority of my friends pre-M have become part of the fabric of our…

Bringing my A game

December is turning into busy, chaotic, social calendar-driven nightmare. This year is much worse than other years, because I am a newly minted self-employed consultant with lots of clients who seem to like me. The lunches, dinners, holiday parties, office parties, receptions, and other untitled festivity invitations have been hitting my inbox and mailbox for…

Giving money, giving time

Years ago when we were in debt, every single extra nickel went to paying off our debt. However, we promised ourselves that once that was paid off we would do two things: increase our retirement savings and begin a regular program of charitable giving. Our retirement savings continue to be worrisome, because it feels as…