Nightmares of a mad, mad world

For at least the last 2 weeks, I have been having nightmares every single night. About work of all things. They began within a few days of meeting original Hellbeast, but as the rest of the Hellbeast clan has stepped up and introduced themselves (there is now Spawn of Hellbeast and Hellbeast Junior in the…

First world problem perspective

So I'm whining about work and recognizing the disconnect between intellectual understanding of what is happening and some emotional desire that it not be this way. I get it. It's not the end of the world, I'm managing it fairly well, and in most ways my job has been winnowed down from a decision-making manager…

Aggravated, crazy, sick to my stomach – TGIF

Probably the title should read "Ms. Crankypants has taken over the blog." But that might be more negative than is actually necessary? Maybe, maybe not. It's just been a very long week and some irritation must be vented and bled off. Aggravated Tuesday brought acquiring firm people into the office to kick-off the transition with…

Tuesday, a dreaded and dreadful day

So you don't read to the end first (but you still can if you want), it was not as bad as I anticipated. Actually, it was not bad at all. As is typical for me in life and work, rarely is anything as awful as what my imagination creates and projects. While negative girl is…

Mishmash of this and that

Been a pretty low-key weekend around these parts the last few days. Nothing extraordinary or exciting going on in my little world, so this post is just a compilation of the random in my life this holiday weekend. Exercise nightmares. Friday night I had disturbing dreams about a few of the exercises on my Lists,…

Dancing in the rain

They say when it rains it pours, and today I think that to be true. Metaphorically speaking, of course; it's sunny and gorgeous here in northern California. So in flipping off my own inner negative girl, I have decided to shake off my potential for cranky and refuse to¬†wallow in negative misery. And no, my…

Sunday dreaming

I woke up this morning in a panic because my alarm did not go off at 4 as expected. M's alarm went off at 3:45 and he was in the shower when I straggled to of bed at 4:30, after having a nightmare of J phoning me to ask where I was and why I…

So … something

The morning after a terrifying event and I am so ... something all smooshed together. So grateful. So angry. So afraid. So upset. So ashamed. Emotional me is like a waterfall cascade of different thoughts and feelings rushing along and over the edge in an endless loop. I really want it miles and miles behind…